someone's gone...
05/07/2003 03:33 p.m.
I'm missing 3 comments so I'd assume someone's gone. Ah... I hate it when that happens. Makes me want to go through every comment and try to decipher which one's missing.

So Koye, Eric and I talked on the phone for a long time last night. It was... different. Different, yes. It showed me how different Koye and Eric have become. There wasn't such a large gap at Killian Hill. I guess it's just Eric's being away for a year. And then college. College has done odd things to us all. It put a spotlight on any tiny emotional instability Koye may have. It emphasized drinking, drug use and sex as the *big three* for Eric. What has college done to me? Bob Jones gave me some guilt... but I also learned a lot there. I'm glad to have gone there. Georgia Southern (which I'm extremely proud to go to... I don't care what you happen to think of it... when you attend, you can have a say, ok?) has brought about parts of my personality I haven't explored fully. It's allowed me to do things I wouldn't normally have been able to do. But I'm not ashamed of anything. I'm me. I've made decisions and done things and that's me. That's not Emily trying to break some rules and rebel. Not at all. Anyone who knows me knows I don't care about that. I don't care about "being rebellious" or "standing out." If you stand out, people SEE you. And you know I'm not hip to that. Anyway, point is... we're all changing. This summer maybe'll put a teeny hold on it.

Oh this summer... just cross some fingers, ok? I start driving school on June 2nd. ::cries::

Let's just hope at one point my parents'll be cool enough to let both Koye and Eric over at the same time. And Koye over at all. We're still in talks, you see.

THINGS ARE TOO COMPLICATED. I'm staying in Statesboro next summer. :)
I am currently Calm
I am listening to birds chirping and myself typing

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an opinion
05/06/2003 12:13 a.m.
So it's just in titles that profanity isn't allowed? Hmm... you'd think if they'd made a rule that it couldn't be in titles, they'd make a rule that it couldn't be in your actual poems as well. Which is nuts really. This is taking us on a path that I very much despise the end of. "Ok, we're tired of 'depressing' poems... they all have to be uplifting and happy now!" I swear, this site is supposed to be about self-expression and if we're going to start regulating words... I mean, darn. :) Yes, DARN. And making any kind of assumption about people who use profanity in general is just as bad as making assumptions about people who DO or ARE anything. "Well, this poem has profanity in it... I guess the author just can't adequately express him- or herself." You know, usually if a curse word is in a poem, it isn't an arbitrary thing. Profanity is used to express force. It's the forceful side of the English language. So, ok, guys, apparently force is out. What next? Sexuality? Sadness? Anger? Anything someone can deem "negative" is on the endangered species list. Hmm... ok, I guess I'm done venting now. I certainly mean no disrespect to the site or any of its members. I'm extremely grateful to Gavin for all he's done for us. I'll be the first with a "thank you" but I'm going to tell you what I think too... if that's ok...
I am currently Bothered

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yes, another one
05/01/2003 08:49 p.m.
Things! I can't find my Boys for Pele CD and I'm craving Little Amsterdam after talks with Koye about it!! Maybe I'll just Kaaza it and call it a day.

Also... the roommate who stood me up this morning brought me a chocolate iced donut as a peace offering and there was MUCH peace. :) What a girl. And we're getting a veggie croissant tomorrow, I assume. Maybe after my psych exam?

And I think I've finally settled on New Blue. Yeah, I'm thinking this'll work.

And um yes. That's all really. Sorry. I waste SO much space on the recent journal entries list.
I am currently Silly
I am listening to myself singing Little Amsterdam by Tori Amos

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a last little thought
05/01/2003 06:03 p.m.
I'm glad things didn't last as long. I'm glad I didn't have an opportunity to hurt him that badly. I wouldn't ask for that, I wouldn't want that. Maybe it's wrong to see myself as better than she was... but I do. There were only months with us... there were years with them. So. I don't know why any of this matters. It's just odd that so many things he's thought about her, he's now thinking about me.

Oh well.
I am currently Awestruck
I am listening to "don'tchange" by musiq soulchild

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not about ashley :)
05/01/2003 05:52 p.m.
It's been an odd day. I haven't studied as much as I should have. I've pretty much resigned myself to taking the most frickin basic math here my second semester of sophomore year. Along with French. I have to take like four semesters of a foreign language. Eric and I decided that second semester of next year we're going to take French together. It was funny... a few nights ago he called me sort of late and had to call back. When he called back I answered the phone "Buenos noches, mi amo." He was "oh... yeah... wow... do that ALL the time." It was so cute. :) And then I spoke some French (two of like four words I know) :) for him the other day and he's like "Oh we're definitely taking that together." So yes.

That was a tangent and a HALF. I have my math exam at three and that just bothers me. I don't know where my calculator is. Did Ashley give it back to me? I can't remember. I may just take my cute little Casio scientific calculator. There are some things we have to have a graphing calculator for but I don't know how to do ANY of those things. Yeah.

And that's it, really. Psychology exam tomorrow! That makes me happy cause I can actually DO that. :) So I'm going to go study.

I'm glad Pathetic's back... even gone for a few hours I missed it! What would I do without this site??
I am currently Dumb
I am listening to "get low" by lil jon and the eastside boys :)

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sneezes
04/30/2003 09:25 p.m.
I've been sneezing all freakin day. It's annoying. My stupid nose. AH! A new John Mayer song!

I'm sorry... I'm silly.

I really should be studying for my math final tomorrow. Maybe I won't fail? Ha... that's funny.

I'm tired and uncomfortable and I don't want to pack or study. I just want to sleep for as long as possible, wake up to spend some time with Eric and then go back to sleep again. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

But that's not how things are. No, no, Dr. Sparks is after my soul. I'll go study now. Yes, mom.
I am currently Tired
I am listening to not much of anything

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oh meeeee
04/30/2003 05:06 a.m.
So it's one in the morning and I have to write a paper. I'm thinking I'll stay up and write it now so I can just sleep til noon tomorrow.

I didn't get to talk to Koye... sorry about that. I certainly will be getting in touch with you soon. ILY. A lot. :)

Since this is me and Eric's last week being so close (oh you KNOW Stone Mountain is a million miles away from Lawrenceville) he decided to come over. We talked from maybe six to midnight. That's one of the things that's so amazing about us. We don't ever run out of things. Though there's often themes to what we talk about and sometimes we retrace our steps through those themes. But today was just mostly light and fun. I sat him down in front of my mirror and took about fifty pictures of him with my digital. We got a few of us together though I wasn't so keen on that since I have a cold and everything. It was a good time. But now it's one in the AM and I have a paper to write. Silly, silly girl am I.

I'm going to go do that now before I just freaking pass out. Go read the stuff in the forums/journals about hate mail... it's some funny stuff.
I am currently Tired
I am listening to the TV

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somewhat confused
04/29/2003 08:05 p.m.
I'm in a lot of generalized pain and am deliriously sleepy but I think maybe I should go to Chik Fil A and see if I've made some huge mistake. Eric and I were going to do a late lunch thing but he said "sometime around 3... maybe 3:30" and I could have SWORN he said he'd call and let me know for sure. But maybe it was just almost 2 AM and I'm making things up. Oh well. I'm tired. Maybe I'll just wait until he calls or gets over here and then I'll order Chicken Run. I used two meal plans at Educated Palate today cause I had a veggie croissant and a piece of French silk pie. So I couldn't use my meal plan at Chik Fil A anyway. Yeah. I don't know why I'm typing this cause I KNOW no one cares but whatever. I'm enjoying this Ricki Lake going on concerning guys with bad pick up lines/methods. Like at Legends where it's butt-slapping and boob-grabbing. Oh my heck. But I'm getting off topic. Wait... was there a topic? I don't think so. Sorry. I'm going to go lie down now. Gosh, I have to write an English paper tonight. *whimper* I'm tiiiiiiiireddddddddd...
I am currently Tired
I am listening to "go Ricki! go Ricki!" etc.

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the poetic edda
04/29/2003 02:19 p.m.
I should be writing about it right now as the paper is due today. My teacher didn't say what TIME today but I have to see her at 12:30 to take my exam and if she asks for it, I'd like to have it ready. But last night I stopped at midnight and said "HEAVENSTOBETSY, I'm tired." I don't feel well either. I think a cold is coming on. >:P Didn't I just get over STREP THROAT??? Someone in charge of this sickness stuff hates me. But Eric called when he got finished studying for economics (a little after 12) and we talked til about 1:40. Not smart - I know. But here I am, showered and somewhat rested and now to write this freaking paper.

Hey, me and Jared might be hanging out on the 7th... such things bring me joy as I haven't seen him since Christmastime. Yay!

Ok, ok, enough stalling... Norse mythology! Break!
I am currently Tired
I am listening to "get low" by lil jon and the eastside boys (ah skee skee) :)

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Angela... oddly enough
04/28/2003 09:52 p.m.
So I've been emailing a little bit with my roommate for next year, Angela Swope. (I said oddly enough because of my dearest *Angel* Esclave, you know.) But it's been REALLY good cause I'm REALLY nervous about letting go of Ashley as a roommie. What if Angela and I don't get along? But emailing has made me feel a lot better. She seems like a cool girl... not one of those silly... you know... whatever girls I can't get with. AND we're going to have a microwave in our room. THAT is beauty. I'm in need of a microwave randomly (I'm addicted to HotPockets) and I have to walk all the way downstairs to use one of the two in the entire dorm. I told Angela that I'm going to bow at her feet and giggle profusely if we have a microwave. :) And apparently she expects just that when she walks in with it. She seems really cool. She doesn't smoke but she does drink which leads me to fun-but-maybe-won't-happen dreams that I'll be able to go to the club with a girl. Eric may not like that especially after the mess at Legends Saturday. But it's one of those college things... going out with a girlfriend. I don't have that many female friends. So maybe we'll get along. That'd be great. But yes, I just wanted to express my joy in getting a cool roommate. :) !!!
I am currently Happy
I am listening to "spiderwebs" by no doubt

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