BRUNERHEIMDALL
07/18/2003 07:54 p.m.
I'm on a mission to discover the true identity of one Bruner Heimdall.

Just PM me and tell me. I swear I won't tell anyone.

Grrrr. Secrets that I am not a party to. Grrrr.

That's all.
I am currently Zealous
I am listening to some terrible song on the radio

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I hereby declare today
07/11/2003 05:38 p.m.
*the day of Emily's infinite stupidity*

!!!

Yes, children, the stories are true. There is no visible end to my stupidity. If my stupidity could be measured in sandwiches, I could end world hunger. My stupidity uses the Empire State building for a toothpick. The bum of Jennifer Lopez' pants would be too snug for my stupidity.

Why am I allowed to talk?
I am currently Stupid
I am listening to the click, crash, bam of my stupidity

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in love
07/10/2003 09:54 p.m.
Sometimes I wonder if everyone feels this way when they're in love. I mean, there are moments where I am absolutely sure me and Eric are the only two people in the world who knows what it means to have a complete, loving relationship. That sounds so... selfish almost. But it's not really. Of course I'd love for everyone to feel all the great stuff I feel. The world would be MUCH better place. Yes, Eric and I do great things for the universe. :)

I want things to get moving. I want to get back to Statesboro, graduate, get a job, get married, have some kids... I'm ready to be a grown up!

I'm listening to Dr. Phil right now and it's making me wonder if I should tell my mom more. Although, Kim and Derrick have always made fun of me for telling my mom everything. Yeah, ok, parents shouldn't know everything. I'll hush now.

Ah, and it was Jeff's wife who went to Loyola Marymount (Marrymount, Merrymont, Marymont??? gosh, I don't know). Sorry about the call, Koye. :D
I am currently Romantic
I am listening to Dr. Phil, that silly kid

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just things you know
07/07/2003 04:45 p.m.
So I haven't posted a journal entry for a while and it's been even longer since I posted a poem. I had in mind a way to piece together these two poems about Koye I have, but I can't do it cause I can't find the second poem. It's in my college stuff somewhere. Maybe I could do a rewrite. I just don't feel very inspired lately. I'm doing a lot and absolutely nothing at the same time. My mind is somewhere else. It just hasn't been on writing lately.

Eric and I are both going crazy cause it's been a while since... things. If all goes according to plan, I'll get to see him tomorrow. Hopefully all this tension building up will go away. Or at least lessen. I've never wanted Statesboro more.

But I am really excited to get this Shogun thing together with Koye. It's SUCH a good restaurant and he and I haven't spent enough time together this summer. It's been difficult to see him with the history and such, but I'm really going to have to make a big effort cause I don't want to waste this summer. Even though we talk on the phone almost every night like last summer, I'm not seeing enough of him. Maybe we can get it together for this Saturday? That'd be enjoyable.

And I want to know when Simeon is coming back. I haven't seen him in quite a few months and it'd be good if I could before school starts again. Of course, I don't know how I'd tell Eric about that. He would think the worst. I'm not sure exactly why he feels so threatened by Simeon.

BOYFRIEND, if you read this, remember things. We've had so many talks about this kind of stuff recently. I don't even know why we worry about each other. I've never had more assurance in a relationship. I hope I give the same kind of assurance that I get.

I suppose that's all. OH and YAY for Jonna on making the top ten lists! Woohoo! That is just wonderful. And the poem that is up there is SO good. One of my favs from Jonna. :D Yay!

Ok, kids, have a nice week. ;)
I am currently Passionate
I am listening to not much of anything. at all. yeah.

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this week
06/30/2003 08:05 p.m.
This week . . . and it's Monday, by the way . . . has been completely stressful and is like someone punching me in the face repeatedly.

I'm a stupid girl who does stupid things that end in stupid results.

And I'm sorry.

Sometimes there is a odd beauty and joy in menstruation . . . the whole "remembering I'm a woman and can produce children" blahblahblah . . . and then there's this week.

Urgh. Don't mess with me. I hurt people whether I mean to or not.

Thanks David... I know you think all of that up there ^ was just me being silly. Thank you for that. :D

And now I'm going to go put make up on for no apparent reason.
I am currently Insecure
I am listening to I think I'm hearing R Kelly from the next room

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very important announcement
06/24/2003 11:41 p.m.
What ho? Could it possibly be true? Dost mine ears decieve me?

No, friends. They dostn't. Um. Don't.

Today... me... Emily G... nineteen years and one week old... got...

MY LEARNER'S PERMIT.

It is NOT a rumor. It is not an urban legend. It is not toothfaerie/santa/easterbunny-esque.

It's true. It's ALL true, my friends. Do not turn away in disbelief. Accept it. Let the truth wash over you, enter your nostrils and mouths and... ear... holes... erm... yeah.

And then like... shall and 'tis and 'twas and 'twixt and 'tween and twain and shouldest and wouldest and hither and thither and saist and begotten and . . . all those other words we don't use anymore.

Um. Uh huh.

(p.s. having a spiffy ID and all... I also purchased my first tobacco product today... just to have... to flash around... smoking is so dumb... but I'm SO old enough and lisenced enough to do it... gosh, I'm 12)
I am currently Silly
I am listening to Jimmy Fallon singing in my brother's room

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Harry Potter (and other things, not to worry)
06/23/2003 06:28 p.m.
A little while ago a I finished my Harry Potter book. Yum. I love me dad for buying it for me. What a guy. This was a REALLY good one. Not that they aren't all REALLY good, cause they are, but this one was sort of setting the stage for the last two books. Which, by the way, are going to be REALLY good. :) Some may think I'm silly for enjoying the wee Potter books that are "for children" but if you've never started reading one, you really can't talk. I swear they're like brownies... or Pringles... or guacamole... or something that fits your tastes... once you get into it, you HAVE to keep going. Just read the first book and you'll feel absolutely compelled to read the next. It's like a disease. But a really lovely one!

Now that I think of it, I'm a really big fan of kid's books recently. I read a couple of those Unfortunate Events books or whatever they are, thinking they'd have the addiction appeal like HP but they fell a little short. I also bought the Time Quartet by Madeline L'Engle (don't shoot me if I've misspelled) cause I LOVED A Wrinkle in Time and had NO idea there were other books in that kind of series! But I haven't quite gotten into those as I decided to reread A Wrinkle in Time before moving on to the second book.

Wow, I'm a huge nerd.

Oh, and so you know, Eric had accidentally knocked the phone off the hook with his feet while napping. Yeah. I'm silly. I know.

I'm feeling loads better though. Of course, I ate some leftovers from my birthday dinner on Saturday that I didn't get any of at the time... it was a whole Mexican thing. I love Mexican food, you know, and my grandmother's mestizo so we get the amazing cooking and the interesting Trail of Tears stories. She's the best. Um, see poem entitled "Ida." That'd be her.

Anyway. Things seem to be settling fine and I need to go vacuum and take a shower. Both things I've put off by lying in bed &/or eating.

Okay. For real. That's all.
I am currently Dorky
I am listening to the radio is on but not loud enough for me to hear very well

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being mad paranoid
06/22/2003 08:34 p.m.
I've been feeling sick so last night I went to sleep (with the aid of a pill from me mum) and slept from 8 PM to 6 AM. Then I just laid around til about 10:30 when Eric called.

Now I'm being silly and paranoid cause I'm trying to call him and I just get a busy signal and I'm paranoid cause I know he has call-waiting which means he's probably doing a 3-way that I'm not involved in unless his mom is back from wherever she went and she's the one on the phone and not him.

And I should really be more generous with my punctuation. Urgh. I'm going to go try again.

And if I don't get him, I'll just go back to my wonderous Harry Potter in which my nose has been stuck for the past two days.
I am currently Paranoid
I am listening to my tummy growling

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oh puh
06/20/2003 05:24 p.m.
I'm so sick of drama.

And that's the only thing in the world I can think of to say at this moment.

Take your drama and stick it somewhere.

Ugh.
I am currently Bothered

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extremecomfort
06/19/2003 06:57 p.m.
We were lying there next to each other on the floor. The CD player was turned down so the music wouldn't wake up the girls. He searched his CD collection, slowly flipping the plastic pages, looking for a suitable soundtrack.

"It's nice how you still have this," I said flatly, laying a finger on a CD. The CD he lost his virginity to. That was a year before we first met. He had once put in that CD and I, being the silliest, most jealous girlfriend, had a fit. He took it out of the CD player and threw it into the hallway. Later I made him pick it up. I didn't want to be the silly, jealous girlfriend.

Now he breathed a deep sigh.

"It's... you know... like... you know?"

"Um, I'm going to need words, hon. Give me a full sentence," I implored.

He rested his head on his arm and gently closed his eyes to think for a moment. He drew in a breath as he always did when he tried to think of exactly the right words.

"It's hard to part with my virginity."

For a second we just looked at each other. Then he quickly pulled the CD and the insert out of the case and laid them on the floor. He took my hand and it put it on top.

"Take it," he said, resolutely, starring into my eyes.

"I can't."

"Why not?"

"It's your memory. It's not mine." I sighed sadly. He looked at me so seriously. And then the only response that would have done:

"It should have been."

...

I sometimes talk about how no one's ever loved me like Eric does. And even with that, I should reemphasize that no one ever ever ever has given me what he has emotionally. I don't think it's really possible that I can express to people, especially people who don't know Eric personally, how amazing he is to me. Not a person in this world could love me better. He loves like I love. So completely, so dedicated, so committed. He amazes me.

After this all happened, I pointed out that when we get married we're going to mix CD collections anyway and he'll eventually get it back. He smiled and gave me a kiss.

Why do I ever worry about him leaving, cheating, anything? I don't have to worry.

I've never been more comfortable. This isn't about rubbing anything in anyone's face, but he's home. It's not fair I've found that this soon. It's not fair, but I'm not complaining.
I am currently Romantic
I am listening to "don'tchange" by musiq soulchild

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