Scary Day
01/27/2002 04:00 a.m.
I was so scared today. I brought by best friend to the hospital and she wound up having this cyst. We were there for 8 hours. And we leave and go to the pharmacy and then to McDonalds. We got in the line and she grabbed me and passed out and the paramedics and emts came and I was so scared. And they wouldn't let me see her right away, and I was so worried, I didn't know what to do. I was there until her roommate and friend got there at about 9pm from being there since 11am. I had to come home and call my boyfriend and cry and get it out of my system. I haven't been that scared since my dad had his heart attack. I am not good with things like that. I feel alot better now, knowing that she is going to be ok...what a long day!
~Jacki~
I am currently Insecure
I am listening to Problems At Home - Blake Shelton

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Soooo Tired!!
01/20/2002 10:17 p.m.
I am so tired...I got stuck out in a snow storm last night. No matter, I had a nice, warm plave to stay. But I was up almost the entire night. And I just went to the laundramat and out to dinner with my two girlfriends and her son. That was fun. The little boy simply wouldn't behave..and he is 7, you would think he would by now...children... I am so exhausted. It is only 5pm and I think I am ready for bed...lol...Well that is all for now. Good night.
I am currently Quiet
I am listening to The Lucky One - Alison Krauss

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Alright Already!!
01/18/2002 03:25 a.m.
This week has gone by painstakingly slow. Hmm...could it be because my boyfriend is coming home tomorrow...ding ding ding...i think we've got a winner. I am in quite a mood. I am soooo excited...I think I need to go to sleep now. Good night all.
I am currently Anxious
I am listening to If You Could Only See - Cyndi Thompson

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Just Me
01/13/2002 03:50 a.m.
Today has just been a little weird. I had a fight with my mother, big surprise. I want so badly to move out, be on my own for once in my life. Then went out with my friend, and then to my aunt's house and relaxed before coming home. I suppose it isnt so bad here, but I am ready to be out there. Then I pass my ex's house as he is being taken away for psychiatric evaluation which really freaked me out a little bit. Then I talked to my wonderful boyfriend and he always makes me calm down. Now I am just happy...happy that I heard his voice...happy to have someone like that, who cares about me so much. Miss you hon. Now it is time for me to go to bed. I have another caffeine withdrawl headache.
I am currently Weird
I am listening to Life Uncommon - Jewel

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Bittersweet Sadness
01/09/2002 02:29 a.m.
I don't know what it is. I have never had a problem with seperation before. But this time, I just can't take it. I am so lost. I know he is only a phone call away, but I feel so alone. Just days ago it was alright. Perfection. Never before have I had someone treat me with such respect. And he had to go away. And I miss him so much. I don't know if he feels the same anxiety that I do. I just know that he is happier there than in this small town. I just wish I were there to be with him and see him so happy. *Sighs* I don't know, I can't wait to see him again. And it may not be for several weeks, who knows. I guess it is time to go snuggle with my teddy bear and listen to my music. Good night to all. Sleep peacefully.
I am currently Sad
I am listening to Jewel - Deep Water

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New Year
01/01/2002 05:31 a.m.
Tonight was defintely the best New Year's Eve ever. Not only did I get to spend it with the guy I care so much about, but also with an old group of friends who I haven't seen nor spoken to in so long. We all put our differences aside for one night...hopefully for good, and just had a great time. I am so happy I was asked to go, although it was not exactly the easiest decision. I realize now how important these people are to me. My resolution is to be less judgmental towards everyone. I hope this is one I can stay true to. I am just so happy tonight, it has been a long time since I have felt this good! :-)
I am currently Blessed
I am listening to If You Only See Me Now - The Dixie Chicks

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Christmas
12/26/2001 03:50 a.m.
I had a great day today. I got the stereo that I wanted and lots of nice jewelry and other things. It was a little sad though. This is the first christmas that my gram isn't home. Granted I went to the nursing home to visit her, but it still isn't the same. And this is the first time in about 15 years that my Aunt wasn't here, so it was a little :-( sad, but it's christmas. All in all it was good, but still no snow, so i doesn't really feel like the holidays for that reason either. I am going to go to bed, I have to work in the morning, one of the lucky ones I am :-)
I am currently Nastolgic
I am listening to Dixie Chicks - Never Say Die

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I Just Don't Know
12/10/2001 04:54 a.m.
So it is done. My dearest friend and neighbor is gone completely. Although I haven't actually said goodbye, I will soon. Tis sad, even a little depressing, but all will be well. Must look at the bright side of things. Plus we got snow finally, before Christmas as I had been praying Yea!!!
I am currently Quiet
I am listening to Giving Up On You - Lara Fabian

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In A Confucious State
11/27/2001 05:05 a.m.
Tonight my book of poems has been returned to me. To yet turn the book of life to its next chapter. This has me in question of the eternal friendship. I see him now, and am not sure that I feel the same for the way that he looks at me now has changed. He cannot look into my eyes. So I left a painstaking message upon his cellphone and we shall see what life has in store for us next.
I am currently Depressed
I am listening to Let Me Let Go - Faith Hill and Vince Gill

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Goodbye Forever
11/21/2001 03:37 a.m.
What my heart saw in you is the only question which remains with me. And forever it will be that way, for it took me so long to see who you truly are. You are a far cry from the man I believed you to me. You will never again reign over my heart. Tis taken from thee and kept to mine own heart until I can once again find someone worthy of the taking.
I am currently Proud
I am listening to Hey Man ~ Nelly Furtado

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