Tired Weekend
07/21/2002 05:19 a.m.
Can you say busy? Hell yes. I got out of work yesterday and I went to Church with Chad and Steph and some other people, then I went to dinner at Tony\'s with them, and then we all went back to Steph\'s house and watched a movie, then I had to get up and go shopping this morning for a baby shower this afternoon which was alot of fun for my friend and her fiancee (my cousin) it was a jack and jill shower and we had a dj and dinner and stuff. It was great. And I just got home from the drive in where my little cousin and I saw Men In Black II and Reign of Fire. He fell asleep during the second one. I don\'t know what I have to do tomorrow aside from laundry, but I do know that I am sleeping in. I have had a great weekend so far and nothing, and no one is going to bring me down this time.
I am currently Tired
I am listening to Rush - SheDaisy

Comments (0)

Betrayed
07/17/2002 03:22 a.m.
Within the past 24 hours I have been hurt more than I ever thought possible, by the one person I truly believed would never knowingly hurt me. I feel betrayed and alone and find myself wondering why. Maybe I am just stupid, but I don't understand people's logic sometimes. And I cared about him so much and for him to just throw that away in a single conversation just shattered my being. You know I usually would just seek him out and apologize whether or not I believed I did something wrong. I am sorry, but this time I can not and will not do that. I need to stand up for myself, and if his ending our friendship is the only way I can get that then so be it. Obviously I don't really mean as much to him as I thought I did. I truly loved him, and he threw it all in my face. No one called and came to see him. Excuse me, but I made the 2 1/2 hour trip out there three times and I call and email as much as I can, does that make me so bad. Do I have to be treated as though I am nothing because I happen to live in the town he despises so much. By saying his family is here and that is all he cares about, he hurt me more than he will ever know. Is he saying he could care less about me, that is how it sounds and that is how I took it. I don't know what to do. If I have to I will end the relationship, not my choice, but if that is the spot he puts me in, I will do it. He hates me, because I live in the town where people made fun of him in high school. Which was over two years ago. I can't help what is in the past. I know that i treated him well and I have up until yesterday. And he has to know that I am in more pain now than I have ever been in my entire life. I am hurt, I am devastated by what has transpired, and I don't know why. He can't expect me to live in this town and not mention it, or the people in it. That is simply impossible and I don't know what else to do, except for leave it. I will never speak to him again if that is what he truly wants, whether it is what I want or not. He can make the first move if he wants to talk, this time, it won't be me. I am just sorry that it ever had to come down to this because I loved him more than anything in the world and I am so hurt right now that I could just sit down and cry.
I am currently Pissed Off
I am listening to To Be The One - SheDaisy

Comments (0)

Hmmm
07/01/2002 04:40 a.m.
Well I have a dilema. Sort of. All my friends hate me because I kind of like this guy and so does a friend of mine and he told her that he isn't attracted to her, and he has been hanging with me. Which yea I understand, but if he and I are just friends, I really don't see the issue. Why can't we all just get along. I mean really, Rich can be my friend and Tanya can be too, it isn't illegal. But sometimes jealousy rears its ugly head even when it isn't neccesary for it to do so. Can't I just get involved with a guy who likes me, none of my friends like him, and he doens't have a girlfriend. At this point, that is the perfect man. I want someone, something special. I am bored with being single. Rich even said to me tonight that I seem very promiscuous. Yea thanks, cuz that is just what I do in my spare time. I thought I was actually quite conservative and then his friend says to him, right in front of me, to be careful because I am a fucking bitch. Thank you Rob. What a night. I am going to bed. Nighe
I am currently Freaky
I am listening to Man Going Down - SheDaisy

Comments (0)

Hmmm
06/18/2002 03:22 a.m.
I don't know what to think. I am a mess. I am happy sometimes, and down and out the next. Now if someone could explain why to me, that would be great, because I hate this up and down feeling. I need a new job, a guy who isn't with someone else, and maybe will care for me. My music brings me down to a even plane, thank god for music. It really is the only thing that keeps me sane. I think it is time for bed, that is the only time I have to try and be at peace. Goodnight
I am currently Bleh
I am listening to Matt's Music - We are tuned to each other...LOL

Comments (0)

Great Week
06/11/2002 02:05 a.m.
This has been the best week ever. Melissa came and I haven't seen her in 6 years. We went to the cape twice and got totally wasted once, which was fun being my first time...what a bad influence. We went and saw unfaithful, went to the Green Room and Six flags. We had an incident with a jumping shrimp on the beach, but we weren't exactly sober. And missy and kyle got stuck on the top of the superman ride. We visited old friends and I had the best week of my life. Melissa left today which was sad, but she really is my best friend and when she is here it is like she never left. That is so great
I am currently Happy
I am listening to The Langoliers Movie on USA

Comments (0)

I am Not Really Sure
04/23/2002 01:44 a.m.
I miss you
I miss you not
I miss you
I miss you not
OH HELL I MISS YOU LOTS
It is freaking time for you to come home to me
Hello...we need to see each other
And then it is over
You'll be back...I know you will
Just come back ok?
I am currently Devoted
I am listening to The Storm by Garth Brooks

Comments (0)

How Do I Get Myself Into This
04/20/2002 02:58 p.m.
Last night I run into an ex of mine and it really freaked me out. Now I feel really bad because another ex who I care alot about just read the angry poem that I wrote about the other and thinks it is about him. And I really hope he believes me when I tell him it isn't but I just don't know. I mean that damn neighbor of mine yelled something out the window to the extent of "Fucking Bitch" so should I get a little pissed off and call him an asshole...yes I think I should. And then I think I need to write a mad poem about this creep. I didn't intend for the other guy to read and think it was him. And I feel really bad because he still thinks it. And I love the other guy, and I would never intend to do something like this and hurt him in such a way. I just hope he understands me, and believes me when I say that I am sorry and it is not him. How do I get myself into these messes??? I still don't even have a car!
I am currently Gloomy
I am listening to The Sound of My Own Frustrations

Comments (0)

Could It Get Any Worse??
04/15/2002 01:12 a.m.
These past few weeks have been pure hell. I mean really, do you think it could get much worse for me. I mean lets see, I go through a break up...that is always fun. My car dies and I may never be able to have it again....and I LOVE my car. And my mom's keys get stuck in her car (which she didn't warn me about) and my dad freaking looks at me as if I broke her car. I haven't talked to my best friend....well either one of them really for days. It is just going down the tubes I swear. I don't think it could get much worse, but then again, work is going really sucky right now too, so who knows, maybe I will have to quit and find another job. I hate being under pressure. I can't take this crap. I wish things could just go back to normal and I could just be alright. But no... now I don't even have any means of transportation and I can't be stuck in this house with my parents...I just can't. I want to move out more than anything. Which I won't be able to do now because most likely I have to go get a new car and a bigger loan and no money to save for rent. I am never going to get out of this place, ever. Could it get any worse?
I am currently Alienated
I am listening to The Crying In My Mind......and the Dixie Chicks

Comments (0)

Bored
02/26/2002 03:58 a.m.
I am in college classes now. And I am having such a hard time with this. I am watching an awesome movie though. An older one called the Newsies. I love the music in it. Matt is coming home thursday...yay...I can't wait.
Goodnight all.
~Jacki~
I am currently Bleh
I am listening to Seize The Day - The Newsies

Comments (0)

Grr Grumble Grumble
02/02/2002 02:44 a.m.
You know this day was going all right for the most part. And then my boss lets four people leave at 3, and do you think I was one of them.. HELL NO. And then I go to Millbury to pick up part of Matt's valentine's present, and my old boss said she'd be there til 5:30, and she freaking closed early. Then I rush home after running to a friends house and getting dinner. I wait til almost 9 and call matt, and now I am not gonna see him tonight, and I have been waiting for two whole weeks to see him today, and that is what got me through the day, and now he is tired and going to bed early and going to Springfield for all of tommorrow, and probably going back early for the super bowl on sunday, and I don't know what I'll do if I don't get to see him. I have been waiting so long to see him this weekend, and now it's sad. I think I am going to go cuddle in my bed and go to sleep. Don't feel like being awake anymore. This day went from great to shitty in just a few hours, I hate days like today. Goodnight all and I hope the rest of you have a nice night.
I am currently Bummed
I am listening to The One I Need - Shakira

Comments (0)

Next 10 Entries - Previous 10 Entries