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The Journal of Jacki M Butler Poor Girl
09/12/2002 02:01 a.m.
My good friend and my cousin are expecting their first child. Poor Chrystal, it is almost 10pm and she has been in labor for 42 hours and just went back to the hospital the second time in two days. She is only 4 centimeters dilated and that baby just doesn't want to come out. She is in so much pain and I feel so bad that she is having such a hard delivery. She is only twenty years old, same as me, and I know with that much pain, I think I would think twice before having a second. We are still waiting this out....hopefully it will be soon. I am currently Anxious
I am listening to Sk8ter Boi - Avril Levigne
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Some People
09/10/2002 03:41 a.m.
It is amazing how I could just waste my time on people who could care less about me, and not be as close to those who do love me. Some people don't look on life as they should, they treat people like dirt, not realizing that one day it will come back to them 10 full. And those who say they will always be there can turn away so very quickly. Those who say they will always be there, are most often the ones who are lying. I have a few of these around right now, but you know what, I am moving on, past them now. I don't care anymore. I will treat people as they treat me, they decide to not speak with me, like hell if I am going to make an effort to speak with them. Not like they can be bothered. So I have decided that I just don't care anymore. If it is to be, it will be. If not, oh well, try again. I am through looking for a decent friend, guy, they can come find me if they want to. Otherwise, I am through. All done, with people like them... and they know who they are...although maybe they don't...Too bad. I am currently Amazed
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Hmm....I just don't know
09/06/2002 01:59 a.m.
I have an impending sense of doom circling tomorrow, and I am not sure why. I should be ecstatic, yet I am not....I just don't know. I am currently Bothered
I am listening to Long Time Gone - Dixie Chicks
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:-)
08/24/2002 03:15 a.m.
Oh I am so happy. An old friend emailed me the other day with his phone number so I called and left a message and he called back tonight. Although he was partying and being drunk with his friends, he is supposed to call me back sometime later in the weekend. I am absolutely thrilled. He and I got along so well when I worked back at UniBank. I would love to get to know him better and be able to see him out, since we no longer work together. So this is quite a great thing. Things always work out when you least expect it. Who knows. Going to bed now, still sickish. I am currently Fiesty
I am listening to Come What May - Moulin Rouge
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Excellent News for a Chain
08/21/2002 02:13 a.m.
Hey great news. My friends Jen and Keith just celebrated the birth of their daughter this morning at 7am. Keira Kurtkya is 8lbs 8oz and 20 inches long. I can't wait to go see her tomorrow after the hearing for my car accident. What a great turn of events. I am currently Happy
I am listening to Watching Who's Line Is It Anyway
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Getting Back to A Semblance of Order
08/20/2002 03:30 a.m.
Well now that last week is over things are getting easier. The funeral was rough, to see all 19 year old guys I grew up with crying. That was weird. And when Ryan did the eulogy there wasn't a dry eye, especially when he looked up and told Eric to save the table, seat across from him for when he gets there. I feel so bad for his family, and Ryan is really torn up. So when leaving I gave him a reassuring squeeze. What else do you say at a time like that. And since if the kid Eric was with had called an ambulance and not picked up eric, he might have a concussion and maybe be paralyzed, but he wouldn't have died. And that kid who did that showed up at the funeral. I can't imagine the guilt he must have knowing that he is the reason that Eric died, because he moved him when he shouldn't have. And then to see Nick and Ashley crying was hard. Then when it came time to lower the casket, I don't know how anyone can bury a loved one, that was the most difficult thing. To see a friend being placed in the ground. Nothing can chase that feeling away or the image of him at the wake. But things are looking up, the town isn't as somber. Although there was another minor car accident with TJ and a couple other kids. Then Jeff, another old friend, fell into a bonfire and got taken to the hospital for burns. Will these kids ever learn. I mean I am the same age, but in seeing all of this, there is no way I will ever go out and drink and drive, do drugs or do anything that might get myself hurt. I know too many people who have been hurt or killed, just recently from this. And they just keep on drinking, you would think that they might stop, even if it is only for a little while. Things are looking up though. It is nice to get the town back up to speed and go to work and relax. And of course now that things are better, I get a headcold and am wicked sick. So I think I am going to go to bed and hopefully sleep this off. Good night and thins are looking up, Thank God for that. I am currently Bleh
I am listening to Sweet Misery - Michele Branch
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Tragic Events
08/17/2002 02:36 a.m.
Tonight really has to be the absolute worst night. How do you go to a wake and see your friend lying there in a coffin? How can a young person be taken away from us so tragically. He was an incredibly beautiful person with a lot of love. This has been the most difficult night, and tomorrow will be just as bad. I have to go to the funeral. The events of this week are almost too much to bear. And my friend, in that line, was so strong with his little brother gone. I wish I could be so strong. And yet letting go of my hand was hard for him, I imagine letting go to someone is hard for everyone. I haven't lost someone in a long time, and seeing Eric in that casket, I don't know. I can't get that image out of my head. May he rest in peace and always be watching over us. We love you Eric. I am currently Helpless
I am listening to The Impossible - Joe Nichols
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How Can This Happen
08/13/2002 03:34 a.m.
How can things like this happen. It is times like these you wonder about even God. How can he take someone so full of life and love. A friend of mine, at a mere 19 years old is about to be taken off life support. He was in a horrible accident. And it is times like these you question everything in your life. Why? How could something like this happen. I really need to go to bed now. Goodnight I am currently Sad
I am listening to Fire and Rain - James Taylor
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Post Vacation Update
08/10/2002 04:01 a.m.
I just got in a short while ago. I am so tired now.Yea so he showed up at my jouse, but the "romantic" weekend turned into a 9 hour kegger, well it may as well have been. He brought 7 people with him and aggravated the hell out of me and the cops got called because we were on the beach after midnight, which I guess is not permitted. Then they left in the morning and the cops were called to my house again for a loud radio. The I had more unexpected company on Tuesday. Once my cousin Liz and I got the place to ourselves we finally we able to just relax and now it is over and I just want to go back, maybe alone and just relax again, because I was stressed the whole beginnning of the week. But all is good now and I am ready now to go sleep in my own bed. Yay. Goodnight all. I am currently Tired
I am listening to Lost To You - Brooks & Dunn
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Vacation Anticipation
08/03/2002 03:17 a.m.
Justin is going on vacation with me tomorrow. I will be at the cape for a week and he is coming for a few days. I can't wait. Who knows what will happen, he finally broke up with his girlfriend and we are going to go see the sunset on the bayside. I was shown a beautiful spot a while back and it will be so romantic. I have wanted him for four years and never stopped, just chilled from it. Maybe the sparks will finally fly. He stood me up three years running but this time he is anxious and came over for directions and is making plans on when to leave and what time he will be down and where he is taking me to dinner and such. I am so happy. I am going to go to bed now. I need to sleep and pass the time. I am leaving around 4 or 5 tomorrow afternoon and he is going to leave no later than 8. So he should be there around ten and me around six or seven. I hope he comes. I adore him and we are going to have a blast. Goodnight and see you in a week. :-) I am currently Anxious
I am listening to SheDaisy - Get Over Yourself....hmmmm think about it....LOL
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