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It's raining on the inside.
by Jolie JordanMy heart is a hole for you, brother.
Your blank stares and flicking eyelids
creep up on me and I
wither away with sadness
I pick up pieces of my mother and fix them together,
but she is smaller now
If I could turn your downpour into my drought
I would take it from you and plant flowers
where your confusions are overgrown
I picture you in my mind as a child,
and may always need to now.
The weeds we did not ask for are thick here
and I'm clawing at them to get into you
I know you are still there. 09/05/2014 Author's Note: Perhaps one of the hardest things I've had to experience lately is my brothers recent diagnosis of being schizophrenic. He shows no emotion, or when he does it's misplaced or confused, cannot comprehend simple questions or sentences, and refuses to take medicine to help him since his condition doesn't allow his mind to think anything is even wrong. Still, I will look at him and once he snaps back to reality from a blank stare, he will smile back. You are just lost brother, not gone.
Posted on 09/05/2014
Copyright © 2025 Jolie Jordan
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Sarah Wolf on 09/08/14 at 05:19 PM My father was diagnosed when I was around 10 years old and I can relate. If you ever need an ear let me know. I know it is difficult and I always felt it was hard to find people who understood even as I became an adult. People do not realize when your loved one changes it can almost feel like death when they do not always resemble the person you knew. I always felt like another soul took over my father's body. |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 09/09/14 at 03:47 AM This is one of the most poignant, wrenching pieces I've read lately. Powerful poetry. "The weeds we did not ask for are thick here
and I'm clawing at them to get into you
I know you are still there." - terrific lines, Jolie. Even though my brother is gone, his mind was clear to the end. I hope medication can be regulated and help your brother's condition. |
| Posted by V. Blake on 09/09/14 at 02:35 PM I am profoundly saddened to hear about your brother's diagnosis. I don't even know where to begin--this poem is wonderful and poignant and my heart goes out to you, your brother, and your whole family. |
| Posted by Ken Harnisch on 09/16/14 at 12:49 PM This is a masterpiece of emotion, like most of its kind, composed from personal heartache most of us cannot fathom. Good luck on your journey to your brother's heart and mind. Your poem and its poetess more than suggests your journey will not be in vain. |
| Posted by Nadia Gilbert Kent on 10/02/14 at 04:24 PM Like a living, breathing punch to the gut, Jordan. Always. |
| Posted by Leslie Ann Eisenberg on 12/27/14 at 06:14 PM great title and opening line, but my favorite is "The weeds we did not ask for are thick here." even without your explanation, this is a powerful, relatable master work. i cannot imagine the depths of emotion you had to plumb to put this together. brave and honest and heartbreaking. xopk |
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