A sudden terrifying and yet exhilarating jolt
rushed through my system
awakening
something
something which i believe to be love.
I also believe that it is at this
PRECISE
moment
that the grass is at its greenest
and you think that you might actually
have it all
that you begin to wonder if it is truly
at its
greenest.

The most recent wound-
a sprite-like manchild
whom I
WORSHIPPED.

I would follow him to the ends of the earth
if he would always take me.
He was not the testosterone laden picture of
masculinity.

NO! but the safe calculated boy whom adored me;
security.

And even now in my neon vibrant grassy pasture
I sometimes think of that boy whom I grew up with
and eventually outgrew.

After the surmise of our marathon courtship,
I sprinted through the dating/mating scene
as if
to catch up on what a practically matrimony bound
girl
had been missing.

and the one who really struck a cord,
left me puzzled and perplexed was
HIM.

The fellow who stared back at me
and showed me my soul.
The fellow who touched my face
and explored the darker corners of my mind.
The fellow who alluded me when i needed him
and wanted me when I was occupied.
He was me.

and it is with regrets that I never saw
us through.

08/19/2014