|
The Rapture (And Attendant Questions)
by Terry OlynikAs the virtuous float off the planet,
On May 21st, Rapture Day 2011*
Serious questions remain
For both the prayers and the stayers.
For the rapturist floatees:
Hopefully clean underwear counts?
Can I bring a pet serpent?
Where the hell is my wife?
So I don't have to make my bed?
Does Jesus like flannel?
For those left behind in the firmament:
Will my porn sites remain intact?
Is my neighbor's wife fair game?
Are no smoking laws now toast?
Is that the Dos Equis guy on my bowling team?
Does this mean the Cubs have a shot?
05/21/2011 Author's Note: *Brought to you by Axe Body Spray
Posted on 05/21/2011
Copyright © 2025 Terry Olynik
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Charlie Morgan on 05/21/11 at 02:42 PM ...here's me wishing i'd penned this ditty. cool, Queen. |
| Posted by Linda Fuller on 05/21/11 at 06:13 PM I'm kicking myself for eating McCrap last night, thinking, hey, why not? Thanks for this, Terry. |
| Posted by Gabriel Ricard on 05/21/11 at 08:43 PM I'm already ignoring a lot of those "No Smoking" rules, but I get what you mean. Very funny, very clever mediation on the weirdness of just being alive. I really enjoyed this. |
| Posted by Morgan D Hafele on 05/23/11 at 07:28 AM hahahaha classic! |
| Posted by David Hill on 05/23/11 at 03:21 PM Clever and funny. I like the uniqueness of each question. Offbeat. As for me, I've started driving on the wrong side of the road. At night. With the headlights off. |
| Posted by Julie Adams on 05/24/11 at 03:10 PM great thought and great fun, I contemplated a rapture poem, but I love where u took this, peace, jewels |
| Posted by Laurie Blum on 05/24/11 at 07:44 PM Funny! Especially the part about the Cubs having a shot! |
| Posted by Richard D Frederick on 05/25/11 at 10:54 PM i for one was hoping it was all true so i could get some peace and quiet. still, i am at peace now but there will never be quiet, rapture or not. |
| Posted by Kristina Woodhill on 05/28/11 at 02:49 PM Very funny - and they say we don't know what the right questions are! Ha! |
| Posted by Chris Sorrenti on 05/28/11 at 05:28 PM Excellent poetic reflection of a current craze, Terry. Now December 21st, 2012 is the date I'm looking forward to, although I have a feeling the world will keep on going, as with this latest prediction. |
| Posted by Sandy M. Humphrey on 05/28/11 at 11:28 PM I personnally was wanting to know if I had my dogs on a leash would they go with me or would they become General Tsao's Chicken? great write smh. |
| Posted by Clara Mae Gregory on 06/02/11 at 04:54 PM I slept through the whole thing. |
|
