WWW.BABYPOPPERS. COM
Have you always wanted a child but didn’t want to raise it?
Then Call 1 888 BABY POP NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW!
Wanted: Ovulating females looking for an easy ride.
You have taken back the night, now take back your ovaries!
Call 1 888 BABY POP NOW! Receive great money if you are a qualified women,
woman-child, child, or simply successfully transgendered with America’s premier
baby distribution back-door corporate cream of American's Capitalism Crop, LLC.
Think ATT, Bank of America, AIG, the US Government, any bank, utilities, BP,
any giant oil beastie, cell phone providers, Geico insurance,
Archer Daniels Midland Foods, Dupont, Wall Street - Etc. Etc. I'm not done!
All drug manufacturers and neo-conservatives, retro-libertarians;
as well as phony liberal jello minds. That also includes, but not limited to,
any insurance or commodity giant which should be nationalized,
but evil has a nasty claw. Well, well, well, oh happy day! Mama mia, run, don't walk!
So you now may get an idea of who our parent company is:
PoppingBabiesBarelyBorn, Global, a sub-division of USA CORP,
a sub-sub-division of Nabisco Aeronautics and Mass Killing Convenient Devices.
A joint venture with M.I.T. and Tree-Tea Parties across our golden prairies.
All races and sexual orientations are welcomed. But we don’t mix.
Ah hell! Our clients will never know anyhow, that’s just a disingenuous mind game. Hate
that! Don't you? Your chi
ld's real genetic profile will remain shrouded in webs of lies and sham anyway. With our
new, state of the art gene splicer, and while you are waiting in the lobby,
we will reconfigure your face to resemble, your baby's face we mean, to
everybody’s idea of beauty and fun, think Clara Bow Or Poor Poor Pauline or Fatty Arbu
ckle or Brad-Joli.
Fifty dollars off first slice! Bottom line? We can create anyone’s
dream child but not without your help. WE NEED YOUR OVARIES NOW!
Forbes magazine has rated our infant factory five stars one year running.
The American Medical Association is quoted as saying “www.baby-poppers.com
is the most revolting and wildly successful exploitation of genetic science
since Arnold Schwarzenegger. BP.com is almost as revolting as the American Medical Association
itself not helping people die with dignity by not opposing medicinal, or better yet, legal
marijuana. But we all know the AMA is a big buck daddy butt-kisser with no moral authority.
Yes? Anyway, hotshot, you can make big bucks! You can easily wear mink
and eat whale in Tokyo. While still alive, I mean, while working closely with us,
you will be fed lots of great tasties and receive free medical care at our award-winning clinic.
Medica-logica-dead-doorbella, located in the heart of enchanting, seducing,
drugs for free, Tijuana, Mexico. This and so much more and
you get all this for doing nothing! All that is required of you is to hang out and chill.
Imagine eating chocolate and pickles for nine months and not being ridiculed!
Why go through the insane anxiety of raising a child? The best part of this whole
deal is you can re-establish a relationship with your biological protease, protege,
when you’re old, feeble, pathetic and poor. That’s right, when your love child
is old enough to support YOU, instead of the other way around! Perfect, huh?
Get the last laugh on bio-medical research! Prove the fallacy of ethics
without a GED! Aren’t you fed up of big brother constantly
dictating (changing the topic) what you can and cannot do with your reproductive
organs. Is the insidious global, android cyborg-matrix maliciously assaulting your
last remaining senses? (as if you ever had any)In other words, are you a basket
case just like the rest of the world's population in capitalist western countries?
Is it becoming too much of a grind for the young, beautiful and totally entitled you?
If you are an ovulating female in great health with an I.Q. over fifty,
twenty-five if you can chew gum and run at the same time, you were born to be a baby popper!
No (more) drugs please. All applicants must meet certain criteria.
Run Spot, run! Don’t walk! See Spot run? I see spots, you will too!


www.baby-poppers. com reserves the right to alter contracts and otherwise
screw you over at our sole discretion. Other rules may apply. We will do as we
please regardless of laws. Call 1 888 BABY-POP Now! NOW! NOW! NOW! Or E-mail us at
WWW.BABY-POPPERS.com.
Chico, California. ARR. Not affiliated with persons living
or dead. That's just coincidence.

04/02/2010

Author's Note: My seven year old niece and I created this as an experiment. It is all her idea.. She should be a good reader when she ages.

Posted on 04/02/2010
Copyright © 2025 Scott Utley