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Drizzly Digs
by Richard ColinsonPeeling paper
And threadbare carpets
In dull hallways
An unlikely setting for
A skip in his step
As he goes down
The tired staircase
Out into drizzle 02/03/2010 Author's Note: Following feedback I have changed 'stairwell' to 'staircase'.
Posted on 02/03/2010
Copyright © 2026 Richard Colinson
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Darren Swift on 02/03/10 at 03:53 PM Hiya Richard, I like this, it's a good introductory piece. Amie hits the nail right on the head with her comment about the contrast. My only critique would be in the use of the word "stairwell" - I seem to want associate it with flats, schools and municipal buildings which wouldn't necessarily be carpeted, threadbare or not. I'd have preferred "staircase", which goes more with the seedy hotel/tenement that you drew in my mind - but if you've written it to be accessible to an international audience, (our colonial cousins), then I get it too...
nice piece.
D |
| Posted by Jim Benz on 02/03/10 at 04:51 PM Meaningful movement and ironic contradiction all wrapped up in one little poem. Very nice Richard. Drizzly too. |
| Posted by V. Blake on 02/03/10 at 05:25 PM I didn't think anything of it at first, but having read Darren's comment, I just wanted to express my agreement. That aside, nice write--and welcome to Pathetic! |
| Posted by Julie Adams on 02/03/10 at 08:28 PM I love the upturn of this piece, like a silver lining, and ur imagery is tangible for any who've known the public school system in the US...nice little piece, good breaks...nice job, jewels xxx |
| Posted by Joe Cramer on 02/04/10 at 03:54 PM ... excellent... welcome to Pathetic..... |
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