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Once You Were My Universe
by Michael Smith
Together,
you and I,
torched a hole through me--
it is light years in diameter;
it will take millenia to mend.
Fortunately,
I am as infinite as
space and time.
Eventually,
this moment will prove to be
as insignificant as
any grain of sand
on any coastline
of any continent
on any planet
in any galaxy
in any dimension.
But
once,
you were my universe
(or at least you could have been).
07/25/2006 Posted on 01/04/2010
Copyright © 2026 Michael Smith
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Sarah Wolf on 01/04/10 at 06:27 AM I like the layout and shape among other things of this write. |
| Posted by Olivia Martin on 01/04/10 at 02:07 PM I loved this piece; Bravo! From the first stanza I truly enjoyed the fact that you weren't merely lamenting a lost love, but also taking "responsibility" for your part, and yet, by the end, there was truly hope for recovery. ;) The shape was also quite unique and definitely added another wonderful element to the piece. Great job! |
| Posted by Charlie Morgan on 01/04/10 at 04:30 PM ...michael, this is super cool; you write for many that don't have the kahonies to admit that we do limit out universes to one, a significant one thereby limiting our Universe...coolest of cool on word usage-play, and the little HTMLness in the lay-out. |
| Posted by Rachel Bennett on 01/04/10 at 10:38 PM There's something very real about this - thanks for the great poem! |
| Posted by Elizabeth Jill on 01/05/10 at 02:31 AM Real. Honest. Unafraid to tell it like it is. Perfect layout. And easy to relate with, including the edge of sadness. |
| Posted by Therese Elaine on 01/06/10 at 12:33 AM Oh...this causes an ache -it is so lovely, so pained and so real. Beautifully done. |
| Posted by Tony Whitaker on 01/06/10 at 04:10 AM Brilliant piece on pain so many of us know so well. Welcome back to Pathetic and remember, what doesn't kill does make you stronger (cliche but true)!!! |
| Posted by Laurie Blum on 04/20/11 at 01:01 PM I am so happy this was POTD! I was meant to see and read this today! I feltyour words deeply and could really appreciate the way your poem provides focus back to what is really important. Thanks for sharing with me. |
| Posted by Cathlyn Cartier on 04/21/11 at 01:36 AM The theme is eternal and the form lends so much. Timeless poetry! |
| Posted by Scott Utley on 03/12/12 at 09:09 PM brilliant berillaint what aman u are growing into - an iuol for the misbegotten - having said that,and that being said, may i say - and hate me if you wish take this master piece and cut the last line - 'or at least u could of been' - we know that - i love ya - don't hate me |
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