how can i swim when i can't even breathe
all these goddamn funerals
i'm getting sick from how average

isn't there someone who isn't totally insane
am i even thinking anymore
so i drop
drop
drop it
i walk away
i connect the sparrows to the sky
i work into the cracks between her pupil and iris
and nest in her eye

i'm a parasite for your love
doesn't that sound nice?

i pop a valium and chainsmoke my blues away
or i hole up with the ivories and frustrate them all

(then that cunt came in
and fucking ruined it
how am i supposed to pour it out
if someone is blocking me in

you rat bastard girl i don't even know
you should never have seen me
you shouldn't even try
i'm too raw for you
you haven't ever had bloody hands

you believe in a god that's better than you
i believe in men worse than me)

so this is what i do
i'm tired of acting like nothing

if you don't acknowledge my feelings
i can't pretend i don't have them
so screw them
they'll never be as fucked up as i am
as i wanna be

(when they asked me my first question
i responded "death"
when they told me what that meant
i realized how true it is
i'll never truly live)

when they stand up at the farewell
and talk about how GREAT i was
how fucking UPSTANDING and FINE and PROMISING

and then they PRAY over my cold corpse
i'll be wishing i was in the sea
letting fish eat me
and my bones turn to sand so that
an oyster can nest there comfortably

you're all sick
so diseased

you're supposed to be animals
i'm supposed to be an animal

how do we evolve
when we're stuck on this, this want

it's too much.

11/22/2008

Posted on 11/23/2008
Copyright © 2025 Corey Lockaby