(purple dress floating
october evenings in that warm
stage basement, preparing
and then i noticed how beautiful you are
it was a flash
i reeled at my vision of
three weeks past and seeing you only just now
truly
and i had maybe one left
so i made an effort, standing near

i was so scared
it happened fast
sitting on a couch, waiting
you are next to me

laughing at cartoons
we struggled

i called you by your stage name
i wanted to say something (shy when i don't want to be)

sitting with you (second time now)
i saw the signs

you go out with him?
sorta
(you're furtive)

i felt my face fall
i took sharpened air

i was gone from myself
and with a vague sense of awe,
i heard myself say something completely honest
opened my head and my first thought, my words were

Aww - That's no good.

Why?

Because I kinda like you

so you said something you could say,
something about how sweet that was

yeah i guess so
but fuck,
i went home a week later
i thought it was gone

i broke down in my bathroom
cried for two hours

i don't guess it matters much now
but i already knew even then

now you too.)
your body began to shimmer
you've faded, you've gone

in a vision i remembered this

i wondered if you remembered it too
wasn't it innocent enough?

i wasn't nearly so fucked (up) then
but don't
please don't
make me remember quitting you

i know it's been three years
but god,
we're still so much alike

i think it might not be a waste

when we talk (rare moments)
i'm holding myself in
so i don't remember why i am where i am

so yes, i could probably omit the preceding
and just say it out-right
but god i want you to know it's true

it's not in the past yet, for me

i'm sorry i left you
for any reason i'd be less sorry
but i had no reason at all

i'm sick with this
so it's probably done anyway

sorry
srry

sry, rslys

(i don't want to believe that)
you've gone.

03/23/2008

Posted on 03/24/2008
Copyright © 2025 Corey Lockaby