how can i just stand there? i'm being obscure in finding
a good word to describe this, there's nothing cliche about love,
so if you say this is like everything else then
you don't know what it's like to sin so thick
you need a paint scraper to free the filth from
your skin, your mind and God forbid you ever try
to sympathise with this, i'm unclean, i have sinned against my Lord
He hath spoken against the violaters, what else am i?
everyone wants something, a fix, a love, a friend or a feeling
everyone around me wants and what do you want me to do?
i am no better than the worst of you
i fall with wind, i run with noise, i cower from dark
and you think my Lord is any different? my terror is so great
from how much i have done, how very little i have done
if you play the games of the very human, you will lose
i have lied to say that i know reality;
that reality is self, perception and solipsism and such
but i never believed that, power is beyond what i am
if nothing else exists then nothing exists; i am nothing
and effect, emotion, it is felt on grand to individuals
but there is none to tell me what i can or cannot do
i just affect and affect and the pressure builds
-
but you, not the you behind your papal mask, your
congregation of concrete support

but the you, litla stúlkan mín
pained and tragic how i cannot be a role, i cannot
identify as a beautiful, comparison, alike or counterpart
this is all so fast, i cannot make you understand
you know that this is you and me, together making endless
streams of cause and effect, but still you know fault from furbelow
so i cannot say i am in this alone, i cannot say i'm
"falling on my sword", but there is reason behind my doubt
and i may even so doubt that this goes as noticed
my night is my day and i'm expected the next
to attend my rebirth or funeral, i don't know which.

10/28/2006

Author's Note: tl;dr

Posted on 10/29/2006
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