Today is the day and
Now is the hour, my Canadian
Brothers and sisters -
For the long awaited,
Meticulously orchestrated overthrow
Of the Pathetic website.

What better time to strike -
Than while our unsuspecting
American members are rekindling
Last night's hangovers at Auntie Midge's;
Subjecting themselves to Uncle Larry's
Dean Martin impression for the 20th time.

Today while they sedate themselves
With near lethal doses of tryptophan -
Their vulnerability is at an annual peak.
Anyone left on the website
Is either too drunk or too bitter
To offer any effective resistence.

Our numbers on site are formidable,
(Including our American "plants")
And the task of "expunging" site administrators
Has already been accomplished -
Yesterday's gift baskets of Canadian Club
Made this a simple task.

I have received word moments ago
That Gavin Roy has been successfully removed
From his "fortress of solitude" -
Frantically and futilely
Calling out for help
On the Butterball hotline.

Fellow Canadians, please,
Raise your Molsons, your Mooseheads,
Let the glow from your Du Mauriers
Light the way
For our new Grand Poobah ---
Mr. Wayne Gretzky!

No longer will this website overflow
With the unrequited bleatings
Of the heartsick and whiny.
It shall become by day's end -
The finest N.H.L. fantasy league site
On the World Wide Web.


Now take off eh!!!!!

11/24/2005

Author's Note: We shall celebrate our takeover one year from today, not with turkey & stuffing - but with back bacon & Crown Royal! Shania - another round of Sleeman's eh.

Posted on 11/24/2005
Copyright © 2025 Terry Olynik