2
4
8
?16?
worrying things across the board

she'd say "ugh" and i always knew what she meant
it's that voice
in my head, in my ear these days

it hurts me to hear the sadness
the decay,
(of what? love, a mind, it's all blurred)
and the regret

because i don't know if it's saying

"regrettably, my choice remains unchanged"
(as i whisper "forever please forever")

or perhaps

"i regret ever making those mistakes"
making my mistakes, is my only guess at

is it that? do you really regret leaving?

i can never be sure, even when placed
like a minefield (mindfield)
of ?fear?, anxious stomach weights

on a page, in words i can't tame

like riding a wild horse and diving from the sky

plummeting
ever
down

to my bedside table (chair as it were)
where and when my hand inches to the phone
hoping that my decisions, i won't regret

as if it was care i can worry about,
in the pocket,
like a glove that fits

please tell me it isn't like that, i'm not about control
control is too hard, you know how i am about this

worry
it multiplies with each hour i can't talk to you

not that i would every hour,
or even need to every day

just as long as i know that you're there
you're here

you are
worry/love

07/24/2005

Author's Note: Written (quite early) Sunday Morning, July 24th, 2005. I tried to express my feelings, but like always, I had to struggle as if drowning in the wrong words. Hope I made it to shore on this one. (I want to change it somehow, the flow seems inadequate)

Posted on 07/24/2005
Copyright © 2025 Corey Lockaby