Now, my brother-in-law Jack's a great guy
but you'd have to say he's hyper
in fact, his wife, my sister
can get that way too

the night I phoned them
a week or so before Christmas
at their rural North Gower home
I caught them in a state

'They're coming for the lights!
Our Christmas lights, that is!"
Jack sounded stressed
his eyes wide-round, I pictured

Aliens?
No. Wandering turkeys

"They're attracted to the lights around our house.
Come right up to them," he screeched

And I remembered their latest complaint
about their negligent neighbours
with too many creatures
out of control

War of the Worlds, again?

My sister grabbed the phone-
explained they'd already called
the bylaw people, whose sympathy
was limited to: "I bet you'd rather have them on your table, eh?"

Apparently the turkeys are quite sweet
would practically let you
ride their backs, my sister said
unlike their forerunners
trespassing geese
now, they'd had their vicious ways

I decided not to tell them just yet
that my son had been planning
with his office bonus grocery cheque
to surprise them with a turkey

as we ended the call
I could just see
the mesmerized strays
in front of the twinkling bay window
and Jack and my sister gawking back
stalked in their own bungalow

A strange first noel, I guess

12/17/2000