Like the world owes me a favor

So spiteful I am now, like the world owes me a favor
and it just seems I’m the hated candy with the nasty flavor.
Despise me, hate me, make me feel real
and stick me with a life and love that I can feel.
Show me the error of my ways.
Show me a better way to spend my days.
Otherwise, Fuck off, Life, you torment me too much
Life, like the jaded distant feeling from your ex’s touch…
Combination of erotic and of the tormented exile.
The shiver that seems to just choke you up with bile.

So pain hardened, nothing seems to shock me anymore
I’m looking at it just as another daily chore gone hard core.
Hate me and see if I just don’t look at you and laugh.
Since all along I’ve been sitting here doing the math.

Show me the error of my ways, Life.
Show me a woman I could trust as my wife.
Otherwise take back your sluts and bitches.
Make them go dig some ditches for riches.
I fear not, like the drama king.
I fear not, for my love to sing.

Give me a singer of love and joys.
Not just another of your midnight toys.

So resentful at myself for the chances I had.
I just look back and think I have to have gone mad.
Mental, kooky, fucked up in the insane brain
I’d love you and treat you in such pain and disdain.
I crucify myself on a daily penance for my sins
and hope that some day my finally healing begins.
Now I feel bitter at my missed chance at bliss
I’m just left looking back at the things I miss.
I guess hindsight is always clearer than looking forward
since it’s always easier being shipwrecked facing shoreward.

08/31/2003

Author's Note: I wrote this piece about a friend of mine who seemed to expect life to owe him something for the loss of his mother at a young age and the attitude he carried with it...

Posted on 08/31/2003
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