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Being Crammed in a Mindset (can really hurt your neck)
by S.J. TylerI feel tired of everything
the world I am in holds nothing for me to stand on
if I look down I see abyss
garnished with lost hopes
and fragranced by dead flowers from dead flames
if I look up I see a blazing menace
waiting with its jaws open
to snatch me and the appetizing meal below
when I decide to move
which way do I go? I ask her
standing still is dying
convulsing
drunk in one place with that fear
I see no possible solution
I am tired of trying to find one
I am tired of being smacked back into the stinking abyss
or trying to evade the jaws of uncertain death
I just want rest
peace
there is contradiction in everything I say
she tells me
close your eyes
rest
NO! I cannot rest
not while I have the threat of the unknown and old baggage below
to venture into that future
to move forward in time
it would be suicide
life is a suicide mission. she says calmly
she is not afraid to die
I cant move forward in life without moving forward in time
I cant go backwards
into the void of depressing stench
floating between means my life ends here
climbing up means my life ends at another time
an unchosen time
your vision is blurred, she hands me my glasses
there is not only down or up
there is left to right
and then a whole other third plane
of different angles and directions
so many that to name them all would be redundant
and they all lead to different futures
I look up and I see the jaws waiting eagerly for me
even clearer than before
I crack my neck
and hear snaps as I turn to the right
and then to the left
A beautiful new world!
I have never seen this before!
I shed my fatigue into the past below my feet
it sucks it in and grumbles its thanks
it is sated for now
my new body is lighter
I stretch out from my stiff position from the moment before
around me I see everything I never knew existed
my neck no longer craned upward or buried in my chest
my head fills with possibilities
I am spinning in all directions
now I dont know where to go first
forget looking for a solution to a problem that would always be a problem
Ive got a new slate
and that problem is moot
there are fields to wander
fields that smell of flowers alive and in bloom and not death and old gloom
happy and joyous I romp in fresh winds
I click my heels
I yell, Freedom Freedom!
I turn back to my spot wedged between the void and the jaws
it was so small!
how did I ever fit into a mindset like that
when now, I stretch to cover as much as I can see?
I see the voice that called me from my lodge
she is standing on the hill
I fly to her side
and take her hand
I see now! I see! I want to tell her
dying is not scary
once you have actually lived
08/21/2003 Author's Note: work in progress.. any suggestions critiques, etc.?
Posted on 08/21/2003
Copyright © 2025 S.J. Tyler
| Member Comments on this Poem |
| Posted by Max Bouillet on 08/23/03 at 07:33 PM Changing mind sets is difficult especially when you get into a cycle of doing the same things over and over again. Many people do not see that it is only a mind set and that (in your words) left and right exist. Important wisdom derived from an awesome poem. |
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