Caught in the dead-lights

I awake with eyes wide open,
Suddenly aware that I am alive,
More than I have ever been.
Just like a rabbit caught in the dead-lights
Gripped by fear unable to move.
I lie so still here in my bed
And listen to the sounds of the night
The soft breathing of the wind
And the dull clang of cooling pipes
Things that when I was young
Used to haunt me in the dark
So afraid of what was waiting
Wishing I knew what was following
My heart would beat so fast
Like the fox hunted by dogs
I searched my mind and soul
Desperate for sanctuary in time of need

I still pray now for such a place
And still it remains ever elusive
But just like the rabbit caught in the dead-lights
There is always a choice to be made
Should he stand and hope
Or run and try?
But what exactly do I have?
I can’t see what the problem is
Therefore the solution isn’t evident
Despite the uneven odds of the hunt
Even the fox has a slim hope of flight.

I don’t feel anything anymore
Can’t even cry myself to sleep
Wrapped up in my own embrace
Something to surround me
And shield me from the pain
To create the illusion of company
And the false ideal of comfort.

But here I am caught in the deadlights
And all that I hear
Is the winding of the deathwatch.

05/19/2003

Posted on 05/19/2003
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