I look for all these things.. Freedom, love, someone to share my life with, but the more and more I wait, the less I think I’ll know it when I find it.. I’ve had it in the palm of my hand, but I chose to cast it away. So what makes me think I deserve an answer to my dreams? It’s the unsolved mystery in my life..
I’ve loved so many, and got few kind words in return..
I’ve trusted too many, and now I feel the burn…
I’ve missed them all dearly, but it happens yearly

I can’t seem to wake up, but I guess I haven’t had enough.

I’ve stared deep into their eyes, but I never saw the surprise
I was like a little boy on Christmas, with my lump of heartbreak mess
all wide eyed and the expression that should be saved on my confession
I guess things are as they should be, but it’s not what I want for me..
I seek things I’ll never have, guess I should do the math
but I can’t calculate a way to deviate, maybe in they way I conversate
but I’m just stuck alone to contemplate the days of my fate
I hope that I’m wrong, and it’s just the same old song
and it wont be too long, before I can sing along.
Hand in hand, fate intertwined, no more nights of being tear borne blind
No more hours spent thinking of the future and past that never did last
the hours spent staring back into the shadows of my dreams black
squinting to make out her face, looking somewhat out of place
lost lovers embrace, feelings of pain I had to displace
lost in the soul of a lover and a fighter, daydream kisser and dream all nighter
Crawling through the maze of my hearts emotions, and my dreams as deep as the oceans
Broken hearts little the sea floor, one more barnacle for my broken heart cubicle door
Skittish in the company of Nay Sayers and dignitaries, with their lies in books and libraries
Potholes in the carpet, and traps in the mind, but then again, no one is my kind…
Lovers and fighters do the dance online, battling over who loves more in less time
Raindrops fall on a cold November morn, looking for someone to adorn…
Breaking the ice underneath a river of pain, washing away the morning rain
Sunshine to warm the days of the new, waiting to find out something true
Speculations in miscommunication, with no designation of our destination
Words speak in different ways to the lost minds of the lonely
where the words sound different but mean no in the land of maybe
Gravesites mark the memories of friends gone past, where time burned up to fast
Lost connections and phone numbers stuck in the back of your psyche
where you lose the line of what and who you really want to be.

04/14/2003

Posted on 04/15/2003
Copyright © 2025 Aaron Howard