It's been so long since I've had the time to write...
It's been so long in fact, I don't know if this will come out right..
I can feel my brain trying to be all pent up and tight
and it makes me have to stay up until late into the night...
With this poem I have to just sit and wonder where...
and think to myself if you even really care...
I look in perspective all the idle minds around
and it just leaves me wondering why I'm the one to be profound..
Am I just spinning my wheels in the doldrums of life?
Am I the fool for not joining the service and picking up a knife?
Am I the cricket in the myth of the ants?
or am I just waiting to be food for the plants?

They say a wise man is a man who admits he knows nothing at all..
So would that mean that there are geniuses down at the food court mall?
Does that mean I can say I'm a fool and not mean it?
or does it all just amount out to more justified bullshit?
Opps, I think I just did it again..
I think I committed an evil sin...
I just had to let my verbal tone fly
and I'm sorry if I just made your child cry...
I think that words are nothing more than us making up a lie..
since we can't comprehend all the things that have to die...
We affix our nature in pleasant minded thoughts..
and never give heed to all the sins that have been bought...
We never look back on all the slaves we killed
and to all the executions we had once willed..
We just sit smug in our mind and idle thought...
and see what else on payday we can say we bought...

So I pent up all these thoughts in my mind..
and see what in this world of cyber dreams I can find...
Will someone out there understand any of this?
Or am I just wasting away in my wasting time bliss?
Why oh Why must it be this way?
Why oh why, must I spend my day?
Why can't I just save it in a jar above the icebox?
Why can't I sit here and just stop all the clocks?
Why isn't it like Heaven the little boy asked..
The preacher said, 'Because it goes by so fast..'
Why oh why must my loved ones Die?
Why oh why must I be forced to cry?
Why must life show me this is hell in disguise?
Why must it be everything we have, we come to despise?

Whew.. I think I'm finally done..
Whew, boy, I think that was fun...
Wow.. it's a tidbit long..
But then again, it's the same old song..
No more free verse lex splitting with the other fugitives..
because I know where the better half lives...
No lies to be scribbled in the chalkboard of stone..
So just take your issues and leave me alone..
No more photographs to show all the masses..
No more looking through the world in rose tinted glasses..
Just me and my vulgar profanity
while I slip just a little deeper into state claimed insanity...
No Pain, Nope not anymore..
No house, Nope.. just the bare floor..
No dreams, Nope they all turned bad..
No happiness, why? Cuz it all turns sad..

Why? You ask..
Nothing more than a mental task..
When? you ponder..
Hmm.. I'll just leave you to wander..
How? you profess..
Hmmm.. Now I'll just leave you to guess..

First two are wrong but the third is right..
So hope for the best and make it turn out all right.

01/14/2002

Posted on 01/14/2002
Copyright © 2025 Aaron Howard