oh, not too bad
what? yes, only not too bad
so I've had better days
but this one hasn't been all that bad
so I can't complain
what should I have said?
should I have explained
the sum total of my entire life
up to this moment
or every second of every minute
of the day so far
just so you knwo exactly
why it's just been "not too bad?"
or would you prefer I say
I'm great, today has been fantastic
everything has been going just swimmingly
in fact, it's been the best fucking day
of my life
in a long string of best days
of my life?
or perhaps you'd like it if
I told you how beautiful I find
the cracks in the pavement
and the discarded cigarette butts
as I step on them
stomp down my foot on them
pretending each one is your face
because it sickens me
every time you see me sitting
and decide to interrupt my solitude
by demanding me to "smile!"
as if this will make my life
all flowers and sunshine and faeries
and suddenly I'll be just the bubblies
person alive running around and
spreading that overboiling joy
that's just nauseatingly infectious
so yes, I'm only "not too bad"
god dammit
and don't you dare tell me to
calm down, because I was calm
until you showed up

12/16/2001

Posted on 12/16/2001
Copyright © 2025 Gary Hoffmann