what's that?
no, I guess I wasn't listening
maybe I'll start when you say something
I suppose I'll be waiting a while
no, actually I'm impressed
the conversation is rather Taoist, in a way
you seem to have mastered the art
of talking without speaking
like the old riddle
what's the sound of one tongue flapping?
oh, you've noticed? observant, aren't you?
your powers of perception are truly astounding
if you've so quickly deduced I'm angry
no, I think you know damned well
what I'm angry about
but then there's so much to choose from
it's probably best if I say it aloud, eh?
yes, I'm still angry about that!
you would be, too
oh, yes, I know you're sorry
everyone's sorry
well you weren't feeling very contrite
when you did it, now were you?
oh, is this the part where
I feel bad for yelling at you?
what a cruel person I am, truly
yes, yes, I feel bad
and then you feel better
and everything's fine again, isn't it?
well not this time
frankly I don't really care
how you feel
because you've shown exactly the same
for me
oh, right, right, this is the part
where you turn the blame to me
well, you're right
absolutely correct
I should've known better
than to trust you
than to think you care –
truly care –
about anyone but yourself
than to open up my heart to you
and let you peer inside
than to let you deceive me
into thinking you're a decent
human being
so maybe I'm just angry
because I realized I've wasted
my time
because I should've known better
than to think you were any different
because I let happen exactly what
I vowed I wouldn't
so I'm not angry at you at all
in fact, thank you
for reminding me
and teaching me again
what I tried to forget
and ignored
because I thought I saw
a fleeting glimpse of happiness
but I was wrong
it was really just you

11/03/2001

Posted on 11/03/2001
Copyright © 2025 Gary Hoffmann