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I Wrote all of these at one time or another
Yours  for smiles.
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The newest drink concoction:
A margarita with a garnish of cactus.
It's a real spiked drink.
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Just out in Mexican restaurants, cactus tacos.
A meal that really sticks to your ribs.
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She bought a new swim suit
If that's what you call it,
The whole thing will fold up
To fit a bare wallet.
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A Chinese picnic
is a wok in the park.
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Japanese tourists are camera-kazees.
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Green hills covered with mustard
Waiting for hamburgers like us to drive by.
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I know why the word style has sty in it.
Designer clothes! Most are very sty-lish.
I'm just kidding, I think they are swill.
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A fork is elephant tine.
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I searched the cabbage patch,
I hunted everywhere,
Not a doll did I find,
Only wrinkled heads were there.
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I'm not rich a Cad I lack.
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Funeral homes have stiff competition.
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Graffiti is ill literate see.
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In Spain when the sun comes out dawn wan.
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Is a horse trailer a whinnybago?
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During the winter months we get double exercise.
We walk and our nose runs.
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"A fool and his money are soon parted."
I have the quotations first part,
But I still need the rest to get started.
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I received a Jewish promotion at work
I was passed over.
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Don't use grass, horses use grass
And we all know how that turns out.
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The Spanish have a new breakfast food out.
It's made from kiwi fruit and oats.
They call it Dawn Ki Oatey.
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The Chef made a magnificent pot roast.
He got to close to the fire.
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Calories are wideamins.
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"Waste not want not."
Waist not want lot.
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Around Christmas time
my wallet gets Claustraphobia.
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If Mark Twains wife had been a ballet dancer,
Would she have been a tu tu Twain?
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The nudist was a peeler of the community.
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Al, a carpenter, is always misplacing
his hammers. He swears he has
Als hammers disease.
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An alcoholic moved to Tijuana Mexico.
He was souse of the border.
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Today is the sunset of yesterday,
The sunrise of tomorrow.
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The girls nowadays
Don't wear satin and lace,
Just give them some denim
With patches in place.
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A poet moves his feet to a metrical beat.
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A lot of todays music is very melodorous.
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A land owner had excellent loamy type soil.
To make good use of the soil,
he planted a pair of short dwarf apple trees.
He wanted a pair of fruit of the loam shorts.
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Why do they call a car an auto?
For it takes a hand at the wheel or blotto.
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Koreans eat Seoul food.
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He is as American as apple pie.
He has a lot of crust.
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The sun rises, the sun sets.
This son rises, and this son sets.
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He is a member of a ratical group.
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A med fly is a doctor with a pilots license.
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A fertile med fly is a young doctor
With a pilots license.
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My car won't run it's a shoverolet.
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His wife is entitled to spoutsal support.
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Top to bottom and bottom to top,
A kayak is not for me.
Bottom to top and top to bottom,
With my top where my bottom should be.
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The cost of a hair piece is very expensive.
For a man to hide his bald spot he has toupee.
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In todays world, love is a many spendered thing.
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I call my dog Napoleon, for he chews a bone apart,
and every bush he sees is his water loo.
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I call my dog Satchmo,
he's a dog with a growly voice.
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Damn the diets, full feed ahead.
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A snow mobile is a winter
Wh-e-e-e-hicle.
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People who jog on gravel
have rocks in their Keds.|
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Some teachers use weapons of
crass instruction.
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10/09/2001

Posted on 10/09/2001
Copyright © 2026 Charles E Minshall