A friend you became to me
But I loved you more than that
You offered me your friendship
I desired more than that.

You wanted to share your life with me
I wanted to possess you.
You wanted to see me for a movie
I wanted to stay forever near you.

My God what have I done
To myself, to my friend, and to our friendship?
I shouldn't have mixed black with white
Because gray is always unclear and dangerous.

I am not a newcomer to love
But I know this one is different
So much different that the ones before.

My heart is in pain
Whenever you talk about your love
So warmly, so tenderly, so lovingly.

I may be stupid to have done this
But not eternally stupid I may say.

With great anguish and with trembling hands
With an aching gut and with rapid breaths
I let my soul slip away
From this goddamned fantasy
Of love and possession...
From this stupidity
Of mixing love and friendship.

I raise my hands in surrender
I let go...

My heart is crushed
In the thought of letting you go.

But I must for I know
You belong to someone else
For I know long time ago
You will never be mine.


amour pénible series

09/21/2001

Posted on 09/21/2001
Copyright © 2025 Martini Koy