Betrayed
07/17/2002 03:22 a.m.
Within the past 24 hours I have been hurt more than I ever thought possible, by the one person I truly believed would never knowingly hurt me. I feel betrayed and alone and find myself wondering why. Maybe I am just stupid, but I don't understand people's logic sometimes. And I cared about him so much and for him to just throw that away in a single conversation just shattered my being. You know I usually would just seek him out and apologize whether or not I believed I did something wrong. I am sorry, but this time I can not and will not do that. I need to stand up for myself, and if his ending our friendship is the only way I can get that then so be it. Obviously I don't really mean as much to him as I thought I did. I truly loved him, and he threw it all in my face. No one called and came to see him. Excuse me, but I made the 2 1/2 hour trip out there three times and I call and email as much as I can, does that make me so bad. Do I have to be treated as though I am nothing because I happen to live in the town he despises so much. By saying his family is here and that is all he cares about, he hurt me more than he will ever know. Is he saying he could care less about me, that is how it sounds and that is how I took it. I don't know what to do. If I have to I will end the relationship, not my choice, but if that is the spot he puts me in, I will do it. He hates me, because I live in the town where people made fun of him in high school. Which was over two years ago. I can't help what is in the past. I know that i treated him well and I have up until yesterday. And he has to know that I am in more pain now than I have ever been in my entire life. I am hurt, I am devastated by what has transpired, and I don't know why. He can't expect me to live in this town and not mention it, or the people in it. That is simply impossible and I don't know what else to do, except for leave it. I will never speak to him again if that is what he truly wants, whether it is what I want or not. He can make the first move if he wants to talk, this time, it won't be me. I am just sorry that it ever had to come down to this because I loved him more than anything in the world and I am so hurt right now that I could just sit down and cry.
I am currently Pissed Off
I am listening to To Be The One - SheDaisy