1st amongst many
10/09/2001 01:21 a.m.
Strange how music amplifies the emotions you are feeling. too bad im listening to techno...Looping repetitive beat, sad, synth sounds, winding, high pitched notes bouncing up and down....

i dont want to be here, sitting in front of a computer, answering idiotic customers replies, i want to be home, asleep, forever. even if i were home, i would probably be, well, sitting in front of a computer, answering idiotic questions inquired by friends who i havent decided to clue in.

i wonder if im ever going to get anywhere, i dont want to be stuck in shitty tech support, i dont want to be stuck in this shitty state, i dont want alot of things...

i try very very hard, but as my dad puts it, dont try, do...

i wonder if the person i care for truly reciprocates the way i feel...ive always cared too much.

i wonder how many of these slumps i will go through, before i finally overdo the codiene, or maybe someone at work will notice that the dark circles under my eyes and yellow skin tone arent from lack of sleep, or if ill end up in the padded room like my mother, or maybe ill get off my ass and try harder, 'cuse me dad, "do harder"...gee, that sounds weird.

i miss my little brother.
I am currently Bothered
I am listening to Massinova (shoutcast.com)