"I Melt with You"
07/03/2002 05:04 a.m.
I cried today. Because of stupid song, no less. He sang it to me on our first date. He was on key and everything. I didn't suspect that he had a great voice but it really wasn't so bad. And the words... they were amazing words. All the more reason for me to cry when I hear the song now. Images just kept flashing - our first date, the first time he held my hand, our first kiss and every moment we shared after that, not to mention the feelings that happened as those things were happening. I couldn't get it out and in front of all that there was this echoing voice "it's over" flowing in and out of my head. It was terrible. And really nice at the same time. I hadn't truly cried about this since it happened. It was nice to finally express those feelings that I hadn't been able to name but that had been resting just below the surface. It's hard to think that it's actually over. I think I had talked myself into believing that it would last even though I knew deep down it wouldn't. Even as I write that there's a part of my brain going "...and maybe it's not really over yet...??" That's not easy. It won't be. But sleep sounds like a good remedy. At least for now.
I am currently Disillusioned
I am listening to "Time" by Tori Amos