I want to reach SOMEBODYÂ’S mind and I canÂ’t: Jan 12th, 2002
01/12/2002 04:37 p.m.
I want to reach SOMEBODY’s mind and I can’t. I can’t because I have been BLOCKED. When one is BLOCKED one becomes NOBODY. NOBODY can never reach SOMEBODY. As NOBODY I feel helpless.
What can a NOBODY do in such a situation?
What can a NOBODY do when he is good for nothing?
Quit? Never.
Wait? Yes.
Wait till he finds an opening.
(What were the factors, which turned me into NOBODY? Well, this is an issue, which I would not like to deal now)
For convenience sake I will give this SOMEBODY a name. Lets call this SOMEBODY ‘N’.
N is depressed. N is depressed because N’s all hopes seem to be shattering one after the other. N is depressed because she is losing all hopes for the future because of the shattered hopes. Over and above, despite all her efforts, she finds her self a complete misfit in her surrounding. As a result N’s attention, most of the time, is carried away by negative happenings in N’s life, negative thoughts, hopelessness and doom. As a matter of fact it’s very difficult to control this negative emotional charge simply because the emotional drive is virtually difficult to control, particularly when the charge is negative.
Normally, those who are depressed tend to pay more attention to negative feelings, negative happenings, and hopelessness. They simply refuse to believe that despite their hopeless situation they them selves are the cause of depression. Yes, the person who is depressed doesn’t fight the depression but does one’s best to sustain it.
How does one fight a depression?
One cannot fight a depression. One can only avoid a depression.
I have always believed that WHAT IS is capable of telling you WHAT SHOULD BE.
WHAT IS is that one is in depression. Its simple, avoid depression because you cannot fight it because the energies causing depression is too strong to fight.
One must avoid paying attention to negative emotions, which leads one to believe that every thing has been lost. One should remember that dream of a ‘hopeful’ situation may or may not be so ‘hopeful’ after all. One can draw examples from one’s own life. One should avoid all the association, which leads to depressive thoughts. One must try and understand that negative emotional thoughts are not capable of leading any one anywhere. They are just a BUFFER between you and your life.
The best way is to talk. Talk to your self. But talk positive. Talk to any body you can who can lend his/her ear. Read, watch, do anything, which can distract you, keep negative emotions away.
After all it’s our life, which demands. It doesn’t give. One will have to give meaning to one’s own life. Life doesn’t give meaning to itself.
All said and done, it’s not easy. After all one is confronted with an intense emotional drive with a negative charge. Its difficult but not beyond reach.
My problem is that N is beyond my reach. My problem is that I am simply helpless.
My problem is that what do I do with my helplessness. This thought is so depressing. I am trying my best to avoid this thought despite being BLOCKED AND DUMPED.
Well, I will go one step further and accept my helplessness. Acceptance of one’s own helplessness needs courage.


I am currently Helpless