jonna.
11/11/2005 07:20 p.m.
jonna's account was deleted for inactivity. i lost a couple comments. i haven't spoken to her in years. i got her poem of the day. i don't even think she saw it. i have no idea what i did to upset her. just one day came along where i suddenly wasn't invited. wasn't talked to. wasn't a part. she refused. i sent her messages here. she never came. i've left comments on her xanga. i've talked to her brother. but she continues to ignore me. i got no explanation as to why i was suddenly cut out of her life. it was like i just stopped existing to her.

and, you know, it makes you realize how things run in families. how jared invited me to savannah and then went without me. how - old news, though it may be - he once decided we couldn't be friends because he saw a cut on my wrist. mr nyquil had a problem with my problem. and that's all resolved. i harbor no unresolved feelings about that particular happening. but we can all sit here and point fingers and i let them point at me. i say, yeah, you're right, i should have called. but when all is said and done, the phone works both ways.

jonna was something to me. i appreciated her. i thought she was unique and had something brilliant and interesting to add to my life. i thought she'd teach me something. i get this kind of faith in people younger than i am. i had it in her. but she was gone so quickly. i don't even know why. i still remember things. i had good times with her. we had so many laughs. so many talks about nothing in particular. i thought she was my friend. plain and simple.

odd how she always talked about friends betraying her and how no one actually cared about her... and now she's done this to me. it's just odd.

i'm not going to lose sleep. honestly, i stopped worrying about this a long time ago. i had my anger, my sadness, my worry about her a couple of years ago. but i'm reminded today. and it's funny how her account was deleted due to inactivity.

inactivity. yes. exactly.
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