Crush
05/12/2005 04:19 p.m.
When did it start?
Did it ever?
When I first saw your face I didn’t really think much besides “He’s kinda cute.” and that was enough.

Now when I am looking back I am wondering when I got on the road that leads me to this place, I don’t like it here.

I thought maybe you were interested when you invited me out on your birthday. I showed you in my way that I was flirting with the idea by buying you a couple of drinks. Did you pick up the signal?

I thought you did because when you hugged her it was brief and when you hugged me you lingered. Or was that in my head?

Maybe that’s what I wanted to feel because I was attracted to you; but you smiled at me.

I was kind of interested but I didn’t talk about you yet; then you invited me over for your party.

“For sure” I thought you had some interest then. The moment you saw me you rapped your arms around me, you held me so close, so hard. It was so comfortable there.

…

You told me that you wanted me to come over and play music with you, you said you would write music to play with mine you said you wanted to hang out with me, but you never called.

“Oh well” I thought to myself perhaps you were busy and didn’t have the chance but surely if you saw me all the time you would make your move…

But you never did…

Then I got to thinking… “I wonder if this guy is interested in me at all?” then you hugged me again.

Why do you touch me if you don’t want to touch me? Unless you do want to touch me… then does that mean that??? Does that mean???

I couldn’t assume that it meant anything, but I still tipped you.

Then one random day you asked me to go camping with you, I tried to look past the red in your eyes from the fresh bud you just smoked into your beautiful hassle, but I couldn’t, and I didn’t go.

I wonder if my shut down was a turn off. Oh well. Life goes on, you’re still beautiful, I’ll wonder if you ever liked me, and I’ll still tip you.
I am currently Bemused
I am listening to Sade