I Will Continue to Grow and Love Those ANTS I Love and Care For:
04/29/2005 06:58 p.m.

I love Mowgli though he interacts with me from an altogether different level, being a BEING of a different level. This reality of ours doesn’t stop me from loving him, nor does it stop him from loving me, nor does his love or mine diminish due to the fact that he shall remain on the level he is condemned to occupy. I was an ANT and I believe that I grew a bit from one level to another level where I could see that I was an ANT. There are still numerous ‘selves’ within whom, when energized, do behave like ANTS. I dislike them. I get into conflict with them. There’s an ongoing war against them because it’s my (INTENDED SELF) decision to refuse to be and behave like an ANT.

But what of those ANTS I love and care for even when I am not an ANT? What of those I loved and care for when I was an ANT? Those who refuse to acknowledge that they are ANTS though they tend to be and behave so and refuse to behave otherwise. They do acknowledge this fact without knowing what they are acknowledging. They use terms such as ‘insane’, ‘crazy’, 'mad’, 'abnormal’, ‘crooked’, ‘strange’ and so on, and derive the utmost pleasure from making fun of non-ants and calling them names. Common is normal amongst ANTS and all ANTS measure five feet six inches when they measure each other. My problem is that I have grown a bit ‘abnormally’ taller, hence, I am ‘naturally’ ABNORMAL from their point of view.

I do not blame them for seeing me as ABNORMAL, or whatever term they use. I do, however, feel sad when they derive pleasure out of this because I love them, care for them, and I do expect love in return. Being on two different levels doesn’t stop Mowgli and I from reciprocating our love for one another. But still, I shall ignore if (and it’s a big IF) I believe that I have grown tall. This attitude on my part alone proves that I have grown tall and that I continue to refuse to behave like an ANT. This common logic of abnormality does apply the other way around as well. These ANTS do look abnormal from my point of view, but should I call them names, demean them, derive pleasure from calling them names and making fun of them? Will this behavior not tantamount to demeaning my very BEING and my claim that I have grown?

I shall continue to love those I love and care for. I will continue to play the role I have been playing to interact with them. I will continue to grow and continue to love them as I love my Mowgli.