break up?
02/18/2005 06:34 p.m.
maybe? yes? I don't know. all I know is that I said, "Eric, do you want to break up?" then he said, "maybe," then I said, "fine," and hung up. today I went to get my camera from his room because Jared and Joe and I are going to Savannah and I want to take some good pictures. I brought him some stuff of his from my room and I took a few things of mine from his room. he just said that he'd bring over anything else I needed. he looked and sounded sad, but he didn't seem to want to talk about anything, and I certainly didn't. so we didn't. so maybe that's it? I don't really know how these things work, and I just feel like it hasn't really sunk in yet. like maybe later on he'll call and apologize and things'll be ok again. I don't even know if I want that. I was the one who initially said I wanted to take a break. so, yeah. I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens.

I did cry. even though I feel like the full effects haven't hit yet (and probably won't for a while). I stupidly decided to look at the pictures on my digital camera. what did it were the pictures of his little sisters. I love those girls and they love me. what's going to happen with them? I don't know what I'll do if this actually is a break up. none of Eric's ex-girlfriends have cared about Sadie and Mantha, and they hadn't gotten attatched to any of them. jeez, that's strange. I remember when my brother broke up with Shandra and I was PISSED. she was the only one of his girlfriends up to that point that was nice to me. I still think about her sometimes. she was great. is it going to be the same situation with Sadie and Mantha?

I really need to stop thinking about this right now. so I'm going to stop writing. we'll just see.
I am currently Depressed
I am listening to "Cannonball" by Damien Rice