Verbal incontinece and sleep deprivation.
12/03/2004 07:10 a.m.
I should go immediately to my bed, lay on it, and go to sleep, but I am restless tonight. I wish that I had magical powers that I could turn back time and erase mistakes. Know the future. A woman approached me. She said she was a psychic. She said that I was pretending to be happy but my eyes give away my secret. Um, no not really. She said she could help me but that I needed to pay her that night. She said that I needed to do this in order to establish trust with her. She needed to know that I felt her spirit and that I knew her aura was good. I knew only that this person saw a sucker in me from a mile away.

I know that when I get to heaven and am given all the knowledge that the Universe has to offer, or so I hope, God will show me the place where the words, “I’m a loser” are hidden on my body. I know they must be in plain sight because everyone seems to notice. I’ve looked for it. I can’t find it anywhere. Of course, the years of overindulgence I’ve allowed my self to partake in have left areas of myself that I just cannot see.

There are other things I want to know too. Who shot JFK? What is the appeal of mustard? Why am I so afraid of love and at the same time, so in need of it? Why did you take my Mother from me? Why did the blasted chicken really cross the road? Is there anyone who deserves to be trusted? Is there anyway to overcome the feelings of inadequacy that I have on a daily basis? Why so many obstacles? Why did Michelle Quan, the best skater ever, lose twice during the Olympics? What happened to my highschool Spanish teacher? Why can’t I just rest?

Well, on the last one, I guess I should give it a try. Nite.
I am currently Depressed