Oh pooey
10/20/2004 04:44 a.m.
What a damn coinky-dink....another rating.

I can still see your face, in my mind, things are soo clear; and I don't want them to be. But hey, it doesn't even have to reside there, I can just look up and see your smile. You're such a bastard! A jerk! All of those names that aren't usually spoken anymore, hoping to bring you to an even lower level. Thanks for the disappearing act. (Is this one permanent?) I hate knowing you sometimes, because it's never fair to me.


I don't think I'll be comming to visit for awhile, I've started to become dependent on our weekly rondavues. I don't want to want you, but you make me; and I don't want to miss you, but you remind me; and I don't want to love you, but you called me baby. God, I've been running from and chasing that name since it first fell from your lips. BABY. "Don't cry baby, it's alright baby, I love you baby"....all of this while our fingers are interlaced. My heart can't think and my mind is absent in your presence. I wish I could talk to you, really talk to you; but, somewhere along the road I became (according to one misadventure) the "black cat". I know what I want to say when you're not around, but the breath does not come, and the words are trapped. I use to love you for your comfort, and for my comfort around you; now there are awkward silences you don't recognize.


SSSSCCCCHHHHOOOOOOOOLLLL SUX!!! But my grades are good, and I even attend class, most of the time. Hell, I'm a goody-goody compared to my former self; actually I started out a goody-goody, so maybe I'm just returning to my old habits. I still wish I could start all over again, and fix things; even though now it doesn't matter, because college is started with a clean slate, thank God!
Money rules the world and makes me insignificant.


"The reasons that I can't stay don't have a thing to do with being in love. I understand that loving a (wo)man shouldn't have to be this ruff."

"So goodbye, please don't cry. We both know I'm not what you, you need. And I will always love you"

-Some things I wish I could have said to you to help explain, or stop pain.....
I am currently Dismayed
I am listening to Timeless love gone wrong songs