Cranberry Darts and A Warm Spirit
10/11/2004 05:40 p.m.
Although I’ve always been one to treasure the past (at least the best of it) and the lessons it’s taught us, the paths explored there, I’m very much present-centered and also excited about the future with our new minister at church. It’s only his fourth week but already he’s inspiring me,(both of our previous ministers did this too, in their own unique ways) and making me reflect on topics and attitudes and approaches to spirituality in a new light, while refreshing my convictions. I love that.

He comes to us from out of town, originally Manitoba, then other parts of Ontario, and has a golden retriever and loves cottage life, is an avid canoeist who teaches canoeing too, and he shares his family stories with us beautifully. Not to mention his cello, which he’s played for us already at church. He's very into the arts, and nature. We are going to have a movie night at church once a week, which is something I look forward to for any chance I'll have to take advantage of it. I'm also going to be reaffirming my faith in a small ceremony sometime in the near future. He's helping me with that plan as I requested it.

In the air of change that Fall always brings, and life indeed, it is strengthening and optimistic to be looking forward to more participation in the church community and the volunteer work there. It suits where I am emotionally in my life, my growth forward, new doors and steps, even out of old ones (this being my girlhood church). We’ll be celebrating the 40th anniversary of this particular one (I started with a little grey stone church nearby, before this one was built). So there will be lots of memory stirring, but I’m more focused in all aspects of my life on the excitement of the new paths. Looking back to the past often is painful now. Beautiful but bittersweet.

The future can be frightening and insecure but due to faith and my investment in all of that, it feels positive and not as lonely as it would definitely, otherwise.

It should be a happy fall and winter and new year. With the wedding upcoming and the cake soon in the making for the son and his fiancee, and their move to a new apartment, and my daughter’s exciting progress in university and career...new people entering the family life, and friendships...
there is little room for negativity or glumness. Which aren’t healthy anyway. Humour is the healthiest, plus helping others, (like a few pets on the street lately I’ve been saving from ill fortune) and love and what it gives back to you when you give it out. The children at church in circle time with the minister were volunteering answers to what to thank God for, and of course the usual hit the list, chocolate, pumpkins, etc. and one just summed it all up as “food.” (Which is really a good answer, considering the Food Bank in Ottawa is really struggling to feed more people than ever).
But it was cheering and heartening to hear their innocent voices, and he had a lot of fun helping coach them about the day and what we might appreciate.

The countryside’s beauty (we visited my sister in her rural home) and the sweet sumac, lovely in our neighborhood as well, a huge hundred-fold flock of geese in great commotion this morning, blue delphiniums and the turning crimson maple out back, all heartened me so. On Saturday night I couldn’t sleep much, and at two in the morning saw the most incredible partial moon with the stars all in line. The next morning I was stopped on my usual walk by the depth of colour of the sumac and sat a while on a fence rail fingering one, and thought of its treasure. Even in the chilling winds and the trials of change and life, such gorgeous touches of the greater spirit surround us.

sumac at my side
after a sleepless night
consulting nature as friend
I stroke the brilliant cranberry darts
and see how good life is
and know it is no accident
but a miracle

I am currently Cool