no value
08/16/2004 07:55 a.m.
you do not know me. therefore my presence has only what value i give you in entertainment. if i agree with you, you may stop a moment and listen. i may disagree with you but only if i can do so with wit and/or tact. otherwise i shall be passed by just as you've passed by a thousand and ten other poets who were just as mediocre, just as ordinary.

do i value myself? (yes-maybe-sort-of). my ego takes it's lumps and bruises along with everyone else's. my opinion on the matter doesn't matter. because when push comes to shove, when everything you consider important comes home to roost, when you choose your priorities...i have no place. i am nobody writing to the wind.

in your conjuring i am the zero value. i have no worth. as long as i go along with your proprieties and bigotries i remain tolerated, unnoticed. should i choose to voice a contrary opinion i am as easily removed from your consciousness as an ice cube upon scalding water. i'd never dream of fighting that. of fighting you. there is no point when i already know you hold me to be ultimately useless. another number. a faceless name. a nameless face. a frame for breasts. plenty more like me in the world.

i do not trust you, you cannot care. i use what you willingly provide and ask no favors, knowing i become nothing more than fodder for your ego pushed aside for a juicier bit when it (they?) turn up. do you think i'm blind to the invisible strings of silence you're attempting to bind me with? because i remain in silence you see what you intend to see, oblivious to the truth.

i know your racket. writing to the wind i truly am and just as the wind blows by so too will i. you'll toil on, completely ignorant of what you lost. but i, i shall return home.
I am currently Alienated