my muse has deserted me
03/05/2004 02:55 a.m.
not sure what i did to offend her.

bleh. usually i write from a clearly focused emotional perspective. my emotions are so jumbled at the moment i can't find a perspective to write from. or don't know how. most of what i've written was focused on stuff i went through as a kid. now that i let go of that i feel like i'm drifting, without a viewpoint to latch on to. i'm not deliriously happy, i'm not seriously depressed...i'm just blah.

unstable. so focused in the now that i can see neither past nor present. frustration is bubbling up inside, bottled and corked; i need the explosion and maybe i'll be able to see clearly afterwards. there's nothing to be angry about but it's as if i'm so used to having anger stuffed that i can't function without it. or at least can't write without it.
I am currently Bleh
I am listening to lotr-requiem