Uh.. yeah...
01/21/2004 02:37 p.m.
What to do.. what to say...

I really don't know.. I love how I can sit there and think up these wonderfully poetic thoughts when I'm awak from the keyboard.. but sit down and try and spill the beans.. and it's like pulling teeth.



I still feel lost. I feel like this is all just a waste of time... I feel like no one will notice any of this..until it's past the point of no return...

I hate the music industry... cramming crap on airwaves. They never play anything good, and the sad part is, if it's good.. they play it so much that you dont want to hear the song for another decade.

I hate reality. I hate this reality I've created for myself... it's like a personal nightmare. When I was a kid, I thought I would be there.. in the spotlight.. and yet...I'm no one. I'm a nobody... people don't notice me.. I'm that nice guy you meet.. yet you don't remember me tomorrow..Maybe I should be obscure.. Maybe it's better that the media hasen't stuck thier heads up my ass... I proabbly would snap under that kinda pressure...
then again.. proabbly not.

I'm better off alone and unknown... maybe I'm wrong, and I'll be shown...

After all this... this life I've lead... I wonder... is it better to just burn out than fade away? At laest then you dont have to deal with the agony of seeing you're best years thrown back in your face as you pay someone to change your diapers..

I've been reading alot of negativity towards people with blogs and journals...and have found alot of logic in these arguements.. and have started questioning my motives for doing all this... I figured it was more for me than you, the reader.. but I've come to odds with myself over the whole thing.. Like, I'm not only doing this for me.. but also for you...and the scary part is, I don't even know you.. I don't know what to show you about my life.. what to tell you... what I should remember to write down to treasure... but alas.. I'm here... and I'll try to share this world of mine with you.. Well.. If you care...


I am currently Better
I am listening to Come away with me : Nora Jones