him
12/30/2003 04:18 p.m.
i just want to be, no more thinking. just held into you. it's true that no one will totally understand and i will never have all of you. i can't, and the same is for me-you may never really understnad, you will never have all of me. yet feelings bloom, love conquers all. it reigns on top, right? no matter what happens we will always be friends, always be connected. but what are we looking for? someone to make our pain disappear? someone to lessen it unkowingly? or just someone to share it with? my life has been a long road; something that i can relate to others, so long as they never know the real reason i can understand, right? some days i am so smothered by my own thoughts and decisions. i am drowning myself in my own words, my own decisions, my own feelings. i continue the bottle them up, you can see it in my eyes, feel it in my voice, just as i can in yours. i know you are there, and in my imperfections i know i will never be able to completely understand you and you me. but forever we will be linked, connected-and that is all a human can ask for, right???? is that all we can be, connected to other humans? or are we forced to live forever in bubbles that occasionally interact but only when it's convienient to them so that people will never allow others to remember them for extended time once they are gone to aviod the pain of love and loss? heaven forgive me, i know not what i do....
I am currently Anxious
I am listening to blah, blah, blah...