Stress? I think not.
11/14/2003 12:42 p.m.
You know.. I've been doing alot of whining latly.. screw that.. and sorry I vented like that.. I guess I was just really stressed about this new job that I talked myself into loving when really.. it was a hell hole. The place was like 100 degrees.. and me being the big guy.. I was sweating it.. So anywho..

Someone mentioned to me that the more of my work they read the more they lived closer to me.. It really reminded me of how we feel about people we dont know but judge them by their work/art... I know this all too well jokingly telling my girlfriends that I'd drop cold is Sara Mc ever asked me to marry her..(yeah right) but it's true.. We all avert illsionary goodness to people we admire for something they do.. I know I admire the glassmaker who made the stained glass.. or the worker who put together my computer.. but I look at them still as normal people.. but say, someone who's cute, in the media all the time, sold as a sex symbol/artist/puppet... I do have to admit that I feel poetry being the one real untapped resource of humanity.. but hell.. anyone can write a poem...or at least call it a poem...at least we'd express something real than Hit me baby one more time... for a change..

back to superstars and their fancy cars.. they hype this person up to be so likable.. who knows? I mean when I met Henry Rollings, he was a dick.. but to be honest, You'd expect that from the lead singer of black flag... bummed me out that he wouldnt sign my poster.. but fuck.. Im just a nobody fan... and as he said quote "You don't want my autograph, I'm just a man"... yeah... a man with a songtalent that I admire.. but fuck man..that's not media hype, even tho he's been resorted to b-roles in A movies..
maybe karma does work in mysterous ways...

I wanted to be an actor when I was a kid.. I was always good at lying.. it's something the man taught me well... I don't lie anymore.. well.. not notoriously.. I can't liars.. mainly because I've been lied to for most of my life.. but I think we all have... I guess Im a liar tho.. I said I wouldnt be bitching... lol..

Well I wish you all a happy day.. wherever and whenever you are.. and dont look too deep into someone you dont know by what they produce.. they could be sick like me! =)


I am currently Giddy