New job...
10/29/2003 09:53 p.m.
Well I got the new job I was hoping for at a swank fondu place.. it's really overwhelming tho.. Our wine list alone is just under 6 pages.. So none the less, I've been getting a taste in culture and wine, so I don't seem so out of place. I'm really not a huge fan of wine, but it kinda grew on me today the subculture of wine lovers out there.. I mean for someone to spend 800 dollars on a bottle of wine, is beyond me.. but hey, as long as they tip, I'm not going to complain. So I've been tasting wine all day, so none the less, I'm a little tired.. I've not been sleeping well the last couple of days.. Just stress I guess.. Worried about money and all.. Waiting to be able to serve so I can start putting some change back in my pocket... being broke should be inspirational for writing.. but I think it has an oppisite effect on me. Kinda just sucks the life out of you when you know that you have to make your own fun.. and can't spend any money while doing it.. but I can't complain now.. at least I've got a great job that will provide me alot better money for what I'm good at doing. I should have been a salesman.. then again, I hate screwing people over... so maybe it's best that I stick with just making people happy.

Instead of getting a ride home from work today, I walked home.. it's not too far, proabbly like a 45 min walk.. it was great outside, so I walked my happy ass home... The walk was great.. until I walked up on a dead raccoon.. and it kidna struck me...
We walk through life, trying to clean out our minds of the idea of death.. until we just stumble upon it. Me personally, I'm not afriad of death.. I'd welcome some change in my meager existance.. maybe some peace from this grind of daily existance.. Where I wouldnt have to worry about my bills, what people do to me, or the ever question of when's the end? I'd just be happy to know there's something or someone on the other side of that door.. Sure, some people might be scared there's a demon or hell on the otherside.. but hey, if you live in fear, it's not living. Besides.. If your here, odds are you've already been through hell, or sometime soon are going to. So why sweat the small shit? Why worry about who said what about whom? Just be happy you're here. I'm sure there will be some draw backs to being on the otherside of that fence.
We worry so much... We do so much evil shit everyday.. not you persay, but you know what I mean.. We're so evil to someone... Speaking of evil people..You know what peeves me?
Say, your walking down the sidewalk.. You see someone approach you.. You nod, or say Hi.. and they don't acknowledge you.. be it for your race, how your dressed, whatever... They act like you're not even there.. WTF? What's a smile and a hello worth these days? I mean to me, it's alot.. I give them out daily to people I don't know.. It doesnt hurt me, or open me up to attacks.. It's just a nice thing to do..
So check this out.. I'm walking home.. I say Hello to this guy oncomming and passing.. And he gives me a look like I'm the asshole... He was indian/middle eastern.. and it instilled a rage in me.. that honestly, I'm still venting about.. Me? the asshole? I seriously wanted to turn around and just yell, Fuck you too buddy! But you know what? I did turn around and yelled.. HAVE A NICE DAY!

Just kill um with kindness... maybe then when you get to the other side, someone will return the favor.


I am currently Bleh
I am listening to The sounds of me yawning