how scandinavian of me
07/25/2003 07:07 p.m.
I thought I could organize freedom!!

But really what I'm here to say is that I'm going to calm my xanga-ing down so I can post more regularly in my pathetic journal. It might cut down on the drama.

Yesterday night was all about worry. Worrying what other people are saying... or thinking... all kinds of things. People might be out there speaking of my decisions bluntly, blindly; assuming they know what has happened with me. Never stopping to think there might be a bigger picture they haven't seen yet. Or may never be allowed to see. There are some parts of people that will always be a mystery. I guess you don't really understand that until you're one of those people.

I remember thinking things about people who had graduated. Mean things. Things I had no business thinking. Putting down the girls who graduated and got pregnant soon after. Acting so high-and-mighty about girls that'd I'd heard had "done things." I NEVER knew them very well, but I ALWAYS assumed they were just slutty or couldn't control themselves. I never stopped to think that they were in love. That they were grown-ups and could make their own choices. I was too immature to see that. And I'm truly sorry for all the judging I did. I'm one of those big advocates for not-judging-ever-under-any-circumstances. And I fucked up. I'm just glad that I recognize that now.

Somehow at this point, I expect everyone else to realize the same thing. Well, it doesn't work that way. So I'm just going to have to suck it up. The people who really matter to me understand me. That's all I need.

And now I think I'm done with this for real. I need to go shower and get ready to go out for dinner. Hope you all have a good weekend!
I am currently Sympathetic
I am listening to not a whole lot