pushover.
04/27/2003 10:38 p.m.
edina. i really hate edina. i go to school in edina, and i have 'friends' there. really? nope. look, here's the deal. the only person who ever even asks me to do anything with them is cheryl, and i'm only invited to most outings vicariously, or when it's a 'anybody can come' type deal. and those are becoming less frequent. i feel such a detachment these days, there's such a rift between who i am and what i want to be. i really have never felt like edina was the right place for me (besides freshman year), and now i feel it more than ever. i dont even belong there. yet i can not leave, because i'm a pushover and i love one person too much that i override my own opinions.
my big plan for next year was to apply for perpich. my second big plan for next year was to go to south. my third big plan for next year was to go to southwest.
yet i am enrolled, shitty grades and shitty friends and all, at edina next year. and getting a senior transfer to perpich is even harder than getting in junior year. my one motivation to get my grades up was so that i could go to perpich (for those unaware, it's a magnet school which focuses on the arts)- but obviously, that's not working. i have a 3.2 GPA (it's like 8.2 on a 12 point scale or something), and i am ranked 475 out of 513 in my class.
look, edina isnt right for me, i dont even live in edina. i should be going to southwest or south. i may not belong there, either- but i dont know for sure. i do know what edina is.
excuse me, this is pointless bitching, because nothing will change.
I am currently Blue
I am listening to everclear- new york times