three thousand twenty three
04/17/2003 10:40 p.m.
i am perched here, alone. this place
is a vacated floor of an office building-
i am the three thousand and twenty third.
yet my view from the offices
is incredible.
i can see my emotions explained
on horizons, not so distant
but not so close-
it's like how you feel
when the clouds look so low
so gigantic
you could grasp them-
as you retract your hand
from the illusion.

where from there do i
trace my gentle steps
to run to this building
of safety and comfort?
i have found that this floor
suits me well-
awakened by my own screaming
that none other can hear-
my sanctuary is me and my fear.
and as i crawl on the carpet-
the ones that we all wheel our chairs
over without a sigh-
i find a light switch, and i grope
as i hit the switch
to shed light on my hope-
i find this room not empty
but filled with friends-
the emptiness was my own
dillusion.

and once i thought a mighty wind
might blow me from my perch-
wallowed in self hate and apathy
but this structure is strong,
this foundation is true.
where would i be me
without all of you?
I am currently Blue
I am listening to ani difranco- amazing grace