oh blah
03/06/2003 05:11 p.m.
So whatever. You know. Some days are just really stupid days. Today is just a really stupid day. I mean, honestly, I'm so freaking glad Eric and I are going out tonight cause if there were ever a time I needed a drink, it's now. I told him he's going to make an alcoholic out of me. Heavens. I should watch that.

But I got to see Tori on Regis this morning. That made me happy. Funnily enough her new single is Taxi Ride. Fuck.

Parts of me want to bury myself... wrap myself all around like a blanket... in GA Southern. I think I'll always see this place as sort of my savior. And so many interesting things are going on just under the surface, you know? The big, heavy issues that make life interesting. Those parts of me that see that want to sit on the sidewalk and just feel a part of this. They wanna break all ties with the past. Forget about everyone and everything before college.

Somehow I know that can never happen. When I'm sitting there reading about what a great time Koye's having and how Cathy has made him so happy, I know that can't happen. Tommy read my journal entry... he said he understood. I didn't even understand at the time, really. But I do now. Koye's supposed to be my best friend and someone else is making him happy. I couldn't make him happy. That's why reading his journal entries feels like a punch in the stomach for me. I was wondering why Tommy understood. Then I realized, there've been a few references to missing Chris and Nick but none of missing Tommy. I happen to think that's not really a coincidence... I think that's going on very strategically. Very careful not-mentioning of things. But yeah, you wanted to get us? Make us understand? Hurt us like we hurt you? You got me. I understand. I'm hurting.

But whatever. Maybe I'm being presumptious to think those things. I don't know.

Blah. Today's just a stupid day. Just hurry up and be tonight.
I am currently Paranoid
I am listening to nothing