walking and thinking
03/04/2003 04:03 a.m.
When I got dinner tonight (by myself... that's the usual) I forgot to take my keys. I didn't notice until I was half-way across campus. I wondered if Eric would be at the Chik-Fil-A. If he felt like eating, that's where he'd be. He doesn't eat very often. Only when he's really hungry. Last night he ordered lemon pepper chicken wings but when they got to him he wasn't hungry anymore. So he didn't eat them. This was at midnight.

He wasn't at Chik-Fil-A. Oh well, at least I didn't have to worry about looking silly in front of people. Tommy said when we were at Subway the last day of his visit, "This is wonderful. Eating together. Seeing each other at our most disgusting-looking." I was offended and said so. He promised he didn't mean I looked disgusting. He said he was referring to himself. He didn't look disgusting eating. A Paula Abdul song we'd heard randomly throughout his visit came over the speakers. I pointed it out. He said he noticed. When I reminded him of it later, he didn't remember. He doesn't remember things sometimes. Only the big things. And moooooons. A story about me and Callie giggling all night long.

When I finished eating I walked out of the Russel Union and stood for a second. I still had some Diet Coke left... I ordered a large. Eric showed me how to get to Hendricks from the Union once. Parts of me wanted to go see him. I knew it wasn't the best idea. Sometimes I wonder if all it takes is a boy saying he loves me, that I'm the perfect woman, that he wants to marry me for me to be interested. It's hard to walk away from a boy who says those things without the leading questions "Do you love me? Am I the perfect woman? Will you ever marry me?"

But I turned the other way and walked back to Brannen. I'd wait for someone with keys to open the door for me. I'd wait for Tommy to call. Eric called first. We talked for a while. Then I hung up to finish homework. I defined some words derived from mythological origins. I couldn't find the mythological source of "hypnotic." Natalie who sits behind me couldn't find it either. Natalie was one of the very few girls in any of my classes who had said hi to me outside of class.

And I waited for Tommy to call. And I'm still waiting. Maybe I'll sleep tonight?
I am currently Somber