remembering
02/26/2003 12:33 a.m.
He seems to pop in and say something breathtaking and then pop back out again. And I don't really notice til a few hours later when I'm wondering why he doesn't do that more often or if any other person I've known has ever read me so well...

Some days I wonder what things would be like if my dreams had come true. What if it had worked out? What would the plan be then? And it makes me sad that my plan is different from his plan. What if we had become *we*? And those days... all I can really do is remember. Think back on the things that were said... mostly said. *Done* wasn't really a huge thing... we didn't do much. Oh, some things were done, certainly. But it's mostly conversations that I can recall. The way I was so convinced about... whatever. Soul mates or true love or best friends or something like that. And how easily that was lost.

I don't really have any reason to complain. I don't want to evoke any pity... I don't deserve any. I'm happy. He's happy. Isn't that what I always wanted? ...yeah. It is. I remember that too.

"I just want you to be happy"

How many times has that been said? I'd be willing to bet everyone on this planet has said that at some point. Not that it's not honest... it was when I said it. And that's all I want. So I guess things are perfect.

I am currently Nostalgic
I am listening to that 70's show