well... update.
02/16/2003 04:51 p.m.
I went to bed last night extremely late and crying. I was pissed and sad and just... blah.

So I got into bed and picked up Sanders. Pretty instantly I felt better. Then I decided to go to higher power for this one. So I took advantage of some magnetized paws and prayed for a little while. During the course of this, I asked for the strenghth to trust Tommy... and God more. When I said that, it was sort of like "Oh yeah... right... I knew that. God's in control of this. What's supposed to happen is going to happen." It was just a really nice realization. So what I thought would be a yucky night of tossing and turning wasn't so bad.

I DID have a dream that freaked me out. All I remember is Koye saying he didn't love me anymore. I woke up sweaty (who is AIR CONDITIONING? I know it's February, but it's HOT here) and totally bummed, thinking it was actually happening. My word. Nightmare and a half.

So... hm. I'm less resolved than I'd like to be. But that has to do with timing, I think. Maybe eventually I'll feel better.

What's today? The 16th? That would explain it. Yep.
I am currently Blue
I am listening to "Foolish Games" by Jewel